Episode 66 - Julie

[Dial tone]

[Hangup]

ROSLYN: You've reached the Love and Luck Podcast.

[Music]

[Beep]

[Pickup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey babe, so, I've made about ten million phone calls, or at least it feels like it, but I've finally found someone with a cassette player who's happy to lend it to us.

He's a night owl like me, so I'm probably going to head over and pick it up tonight after I close up. He's actually just over a little past Fitzroy Street, so it won't take too much time or effort.

Love you. See you tomorrow.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: [Happy] Hey! So, slight change of plans, Victor and Storm are coming with me to pick up the cassette player, and then we're going to stop by the beach for a bit before I come home.

So if you wake up and I'm sandy or something... sorry? I promise I'll wash the sheets tomorrow.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

[OCEAN BACKGROUND]

JASON: Hey gorgeous. The water is damn fucking fine tonight. Like, not even cold, it's just like... perfect.

Victor and Storm are still swimming, I just came back to the shore because... I love you, and I was thinking about you, and I wanted to leave you a message.

I wish you were here with us, but... it's good you're getting your sleep. Maybe we can come back to the beach on Monday? Just the two of us?

You know... it's really fucking weird that we don't come to the beach more often. I mean... it's like a twenty minute walk from the bar. You'd think we'd be making more use of that.

Damn, but it's nice though. It's been a long time since I've been at a beach at this hour. There isn't another fucking person around, just us. Which, I mean, shit... you don't usually get this kind of solitude in the city much, you know? There's usually at least a few people around.

Which is kind of cool in its own right, because like... you know that saying "ships passing in the night"? It's like that, it's like... hey, I see you, we're both existing at this really weird moment in the same place and time. And that's special, even if we never interact or see each other ever again.

Heh, I have no idea if that makes sense. You know me. I get weird and sentimental at this time of night.

I love you. I love you so much and so hard. I don't even know if I could ever really express the depth of it. I love you, Kane, I love you.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey, I'm home safe, and I'm gonna have a shower before I come to bed so hopefully I won't get sand everywhere.

Just to let you know, I'm going to put the cassette player in that little nook in our bedroom, near the computer. So if you want to start listening to the tapes tomorrow before I get up, that's where you'll find it.

Love you.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey. Things are quiet downstairs today. Which is kind of good, honestly, because I'm... I don't know what to do about the tapes.

I don't know whether I should just dive in and start listening now, or if I should wait and listen with you, or... if I should even listen at all.

I mean... [Emotional] what if it just hurts? What if it just hurts to hear her voice again, and I don't get anything positive out of it at all?

[Deep Breath] Ugh, I don't know. I don't know. One moment I think, I should wait until you get up, so I can have you there with me. Then I think, no, I should take a few minutes and do this by myself, she was my mother, we were close, I should be able to listen to this alone.

[Emotional] I don't know, Jason, I'm so confused. I feel like I shouldn't even be in this position. People are supposed to stay dead, you're not supposed to hear anything new from them years later.

I feel like I'm not... like, humans aren't emotionally equipped to deal with this, you know? Ghosts aren't meant to be real. Even tape recorder ghosts. We're not made to listen to the dead.

[Sigh] Well, I think it's pretty clear that whatever I'm going to do, I'm probably going to be a mess either way. Sorry.

I know you don't mind, but... sorry anyway.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey. So... Michael's minding the bar for a while. I've decided to start listening to the tapes.

So... if you come downstairs and I'm not there, don't freak out, I'm just out the back. Probably crying, by the time you come down.

[Deep Breath] Okay. Let's go. Week six, since that's the earliest one that's here.

[Hangup]

[Cassette button press]

JULIE: [Brightly] Hi baby, it's your Mumma, Julie!

I just found out about you. Well, okay, that's not entirely true. I actually found out about you yesterday.

Six weeks pregnant. [Sigh] That was a surprise. For a lot of reasons.

I mean, my age, for one. I'm thirty eight, which is kind of old for a first pregnancy. And... well, doctors told me that I couldn't have kids. They told me that like... ten years ago. I didn't mind, I mean... I was a bit upset about it, but I'd made my peace with it, you know?

My doctor was surprised that I noticed this early, actually. Apparently there's a huge range of times when people notice they're pregnant, but for someone like me who wasn't trying to conceive, it usually takes a bit longer for us to notice.

But I knew something was going on, baby. I knew. My whole body felt different. I can't really describe it, it was just this... feeling. I just knew about you. Somehow.

Anyway... we can't have a real conversation yet, obviously. But... I still wanted to talk to you. So I thought, hey, Priya got me this tape recorder and microphone for Christmas a couple of years ago, maybe I could use that.

So I figured... I'd talk to you, but I'd record it. And then one day, if you want to, you can listen to these tapes, and you can get to know me from a different perspective. I imagine that the person I am to you is quite different from the person I am now.

So, yes. Hi there baby! I wasn't expecting you, but I'm really glad that you're coming. I can't wait to meet you. I love you already.

[Click]

ROSLYN: Love and Luck is written by Erin Kyan, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions.

Kane is voiced by Lee Davis-Thalbourne. Jason is voiced by Erin Kyan. Julie is voiced by Nic Rummery. Credits spoken by Roslyn Quin. Recorded by Kermie Breydon and Eris Barnes.

If you're enjoying Love and Luck, consider backing us on Patreon. We do our best not only to make a high quality show for you, but to pay everyone involved in its creation. Your monthly donation will be directly supporting queer art by queer people. Pledge now at patreon.com/passervulpes - that's patreon.com/ P A S S E R V U L P E S.

For more information about Love and Luck, check out our website, loveandluckpodcast.com. You can also find us on facebook as Love and Luck Podcast, on twitter as @LoveLuckPodcast, and on tumblr and instagram as loveandluckpodcast, all one word.

Episode 65 - The Tapes

[Dial tone]

[Hangup]

ROSLYN: You've reached the Love and Luck Podcast.

[Music]

[Beep]

[Pickup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey Jason. [Anxious] So... I tried calling Priya back again this morning, and... I actually got through to her this time. And... yeah, it sounds like... like the Julie Baxter that she used to know was... was actually my mother.

Apparently they were partners, a long time ago, back in the 80s. They had to break up because Priya got a job at the ANU in Canberra, and... then they just kind of lost touch after a couple of years of long distance friendship.

Anyway, Priya was going through some boxes she had in storage, and she found a box of cassettes that had belonged to Mumma. Not like... not like, music cassettes. Like... personal recordings. Tapes that Mumma had recorded. Apparently they were sent to Priya by mistake, but she just... kept forgetting to return them, until she forgot about them completely.

[Sigh] I... have no idea how to handle this. I feel so out of my depth. I mean... I thought... I thought everything about Mumma was... finished, you know? Like... I grieved, I dealt with all her belongings, I scattered her ashes...

I... I didn't expect to really encounter anything new about her, you know? Like... she's gone. How can there be something new?

But... there is. It's just a box of tapes, but... it's something new. And I have... no idea how to comprehend that, on an emotional level.

[Sigh] Anyway. Priya said she'll post the box to me today, so... it should arrive in a couple of days. Then we can... see what it's all about, I guess.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey babe. I hope you're sleeping okay.

I talked to Victor and he's happy to take the first half of my shift tomorrow so I can spend time with you instead, okay? I know you said I don't have to, but... you really seem like you're freaking out about these tapes, and I think we need to get your mind off it.

How about we go to the movies? We haven't done that in like... god, two years, or something? Yeah, we are definitely overdue to go to the movies. I'll check some times and see what's on.

I love you. See you tomorrow.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey. Yeah, the movies sound good. I just had a tiny panic attack about our coffee stock being a bit low, so... clearly I really need some distraction.

Don't worry, by the way, I'm fine now. Helen was around when it happened and she made me feel a lot better. And... I'm pretty sure she did it magically, too. It felt like someone was pouring cool water over my brain.

I... didn't think to ask her about it, though. Sorry. I was mostly just happy to be feeling a bit calm again.

You know, I don't think she does it magically every time she calms people down. Because... today was the first time I felt anything like it from her, and she's been there for me through a lot. Which kind of explains why we never knew about it, I think... she's just like this, naturally. The magic is like... supplemental. Something extra.

Anyway... I'm going to drink some tea and then try to keep busy. I love you. See you when you get up.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

STORM: [Mock accusingly] Jason! It's Storm! I come in before a shift so I can meet your man in person, and neither of you are here! I mean, I'll survive, but I'm terribly disappointed. I'll just have to make sure to come back in after work and wag my finger at you in person.

[Chuckle] But seriously though, the kid behind the bar said you're having a well overdue movie date, so I hope that's going well. I'm making myself plenty at home here anyway. We'll catch up soon. See ya!

[Hangup]

[Beep]

VICTOR: [Excited] Oh my god, Jason, I love Storm. She's amazing. I told her she has to come in the next time we're doing a late shift together so we can all hang out. You gotta remind her of that when you see her too, okay?

Also, she is making one hell of an impression on our customers. I haven't seen this many flustered femmes in a room at once since... ever, really. Storm's putting out some pretty incredible suave butch vibes. Honestly I'm pretty close to re-examining if I'm into women myself.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: [Tired] Hey honey. Thank you for taking me out today. It really did help, I feel a bit more... well rounded, I guess? I feel like I got a reminder that the whole world doesn't revolve around me, and... yeah, I needed that perspective.

Heh, that makes it sound much more dramatic than it is, but it's the truth. It's easy to get sucked into my own head, so it's nice to be pulled back into the real world for a bit.

[Yawn] Anyway. Thank you. Hopefully I'm about to sleep really, really well, with no anxiety wake-ups at all. That's the hope, anyway. Goodnight.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey babe. Just closed up, everything went well. I've been popping up to check on you every now and then, and you seem to be sleeping well, so I'm really glad about that.

We sold another one of Michael's paintings tonight! It was that beautifully textured red and orange one. I'm kind of sad to see it leave the bar, to be honest. But I guess that's what I get for not, you know, buying it my own damn self.

Anyway, I love you. See you tomorrow.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: [Anxious] Hey. So. A courier just arrived and delivered a big box of cassettes to me.

I... was not expecting Priya to send this via courier. I was expecting to have to wait at least a few days.

I'm... I'm not quite freaking out, but I am definitely something close to freaking out.

[Deep Breath] Okay. I don't need to freak out over this. They're just tapes. Let's see how they're labelled...

[SFX: BOX NOISES]

Wow, that's... yeah. That's Mumma's handwriting. [Quietly] Wow.

[SFX: CASSETTE FUMBLING NOISES]

'Week six'... 'week eight'... 'week twenty'... hmm. They're all labelled with numbered weeks, but... I can't find a 'week one' anywhere, or even a 'week two'. It looks like six is the earliest one? I... have no idea what that means. Are we missing some?

I guess the only way to find out would be to listen to them, but... [Laugh] where the hell am I supposed to find a cassette player?

[Hangup]

[Music]

ROSLYN: Love and Luck is written by Erin Kyan, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions.

Kane is voiced by Lee Davis-Thalbourne. Jason is voiced by Erin Kyan. Storm is voiced by Creatrix Tiara. Victor is voiced by DL Turnbull. Credits spoken by Roslyn Quin. Recorded by Kermie Breydon and Eris Barnes.

If you're enjoying Love and Luck, consider backing us on Patreon. We do our best not only to make a high quality show for you, but to pay everyone involved in its creation. Your monthly donation will be directly supporting queer art by queer people. Pledge now at patreon.com/passervulpes - that's patreon.com/ P A S S E R V U L P E S.

For more information about Love and Luck, check out our website, loveandluckpodcast.com. You can also find us on facebook as Love and Luck Podcast, on twitter as @LoveLuckPodcast, and on tumblr and instagram as loveandluckpodcast, all one word.

Episode 64 - Hard Things To Bear

[Dial tone]

[Hangup]

ROSLYN: You've reached the Love and Luck Podcast.

[Music]

[Beep]

[Pickup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey babe. So, just like every other time I've gone to bed at a decent hour with you, I slept for a little bit and then woke right back up again. [Sigh] Oh well. I can always nap on the train home tomorrow.

I've just popped outside, I didn't want to risk waking Maggie or Brad, or you for that matter, by talking in the living room or something. I slightly regret it, because I forgot how quiet regional towns are, and so I feel reeeeeal fucking dodgy standing around outside at one o'clock in the morning.

On the bright side, there's not really anyone around to see me looking dodgy, so... maybe it cancels itself out.

[Breathe in] I think I might take a walk, actually. Just a short one. See if I can convince my body to tire itself out or something.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey. I found a nice park. There's possums.

[Sigh] Ah, today was big. And complicated.

It was a really beautiful wedding. I know that's like, a cliche to say, but... it really was. And everyone was in such good spirits, and I know it's exactly what Maggie and Brad wanted, so... it's a winner from that perspective too.

I don't think I've ever seen Maggie as happy as she was today. She looked... literally radiant. Like there was just rays of joy coming off her. Brad, too.

But, uh... [Sigh] It was hard to see my parents. It always is. We're not estranged enough for it to be reasonable to hate seeing them to the point of avoidance, but... they clearly dislike everything about me, so... it's not exactly comfortable.

I mean shit, the only time I've spoken to my Dad in almost a decade was when you magicked him into calling me! And then again today. That's been it. For years.

[Sigh] It's weird, but... I think I was holding out hope that they'd meet you, and then they'd suddenly... get it. Like, they'd meet you and they'd be like "Oh, this is such a nice young man, I'm okay with the fact my son's gay now". Childish, I know.

The thing is, I didn't even know I was holding that hope until we were standing there in front of them and my mother was scowling at us. Then I realized that it wasn't going to happen, and... it hurt.

But... now I know. Now I know that there's nothing I can do. Because if she can't look at you, and see you and me together, and see how happy you make me, and know that this is something good and pure and wonderful? She'll never know. She'll never get it.

I'm sorry about that. About her. About them. I wish they could see how great you are, and how good you are for me. I wish... I wish they could see that I'm happy. I wish they could see that there's nothing wrong with me, with us.

[Sigh] Well. I should walk back now. I love you, Kane. You mean the world to me, and I'm so, so glad to be with you. I have no regrets about anything if it means I'm with you.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

[FX: Train noises]

KANE: [Sweetly] Hey honey. Just a quick little message while you're napping.

I love you so, so much. I can't imagine life without you. You make every day a good day.

[Gently] And, just to remind you? It's not childish to want your parents to love and accept you. It's normal. It's natural.

I'm sorry your parents can't accept us. But there are lots of people who do. Your sister, and your new brother in law, and our friends, and everyone back at the bar, and probably a lot more even than that. We've still got a family. It just looks a little bit different to the one your parents think it should.

I love you, and it's your parents' loss to not embrace you. You're beautiful and kind and loved by so many people. And especially by me.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

MICHAEL: Hey, Ricardo, it's Michael.

I'm having kind of a bad morning, and... well, you said leaving messages on Jason's phone helps you sometimes, so... I'm hoping you don't mind if I try leaving you one. If you don't want me to do this, just let me know, and I won't do it again.

[Downhearted] I still haven't found another job. Victor is covering my rent for this month, and... I feel awful. The money from selling my paintings let me pay him back for last month's rent, but... now I'm behind again.

I don't want to rely on him for this. I thought that I'd be okay, leaving the Best of Luck Bar, I thought... I thought that I could find something. But... it's hard. No one wants to hire me.

And I still have nightmares. About what happened. And... you understand. I try not to talk to anyone else about it, because they don't know what it's like. I don't want them thinking I'm falling apart, you know?

I'm not falling apart. I'm just...

[Plainly] There are scars in me from what happened. And scars are healed flesh, but they're changed. I'm changed. And that's mostly all right. I know my own heart, I know how to get through the day, but... sometimes I just want someone to tell me it will all be okay. I don't want them to pity me while they do it, and I don't want them to treat me like a child for it.

But I know you won't do that, because you know how it is.

I'm sorry that you know how it is. We shouldn't have had suffered it. But I'm glad that we can be there for each other.

Thank you, Ricardo. I feel better having talked about this. Let me know if I can ever do the same for you.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

RICARDO: Hey, Michael. I'm sorry I missed your call, but I got your message. And... yeah. I know how it is. Not just the nightmares, either.

I've been relying on Jason and Kane since I got here, and I hate that, sometimes. Needing help to make ends meet feels humiliating.

But you know, I asked Jason about it once, and I bet if you ask Victor about it he'd say the same thing: we're not burdens. They want to help us because they care about us. It's not out of duty or obligation or pity. It's out of love. And we'd do the same for them, if our situations were reversed.

And, Michael? It will be okay. Even if it doesn't feel like it... which it almost never does, at least for me. But my feelings don't change the truth, and the truth is that we will be okay. We have good friends who care about us and want to help us, and they will help make it okay. And we will heal, and our scars will fade, and it will be okay. It will.

And then? Then we can help them too, or we can help the next people who come along and need it. Because by needing help, we know how important it is to receive it.

Bless you, my friend. May we both sleep peacefully tonight.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

PRIYA: Hello, Kane Baxter? My name is Priya Singh. I'm wondering, are you related to Julie Baxter?

I found your number on Facebook. I was looking for people with the surname Baxter in Melbourne, since I couldn't find her specifically, and... well, I saw your picture, and... you look a lot like her.

If you are related to her, please call me back. I have some things of hers that I'd like to return to her, if possible. Thanks.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hi, Priya. Sorry I missed your call, my phone's always on silent.

But... yeah, um... my mother's name was Julie. She... she passed away, a few years ago, though.

I'd... really like to talk to you though, if possible. Um... I'll try calling again tomorrow.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

ROSLYN: Love and Luck is written by Erin Kyan, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions.

Kane is voiced by Lee Davis-Thalbourne. Jason is voiced by Erin Kyan. Ricardo is voiced by Justin Jones Li. Michael is voiced by Oscar Sabogal. Priya is voiced by Gemma Mahadeo. Credits spoken by Roslyn Quin. Recorded by Kermie Breydon and Eris Barnes.

If you're enjoying Love and Luck, consider backing us on Patreon. We do our best not only to make a high quality show for you, but to pay everyone involved in its creation. Your monthly donation will be directly supporting queer art by queer people. Pledge now at patreon.com/passervulpes - that's patreon.com/ P A S S E R V U L P E S.

For more information about Love and Luck, check out our website, loveandluckpodcast.com. You can also find us on facebook as Love and Luck Podcast, on twitter as @LoveLuckPodcast, and on tumblr and instagram as loveandluckpodcast, all one word.

Episode 63 - Gardening

[Dial tone]

[Hangup]

ROSLYN: You've reached the Love and Luck Podcast.

[Music]

[Beep]

[Pickup]

[Beep]

KANE: [Gently] Hey honey, I hope you're sleeping okay, but... I'm gonna come wreck it in about an hour. The train we were going to take to Wangaratta got cancelled, so... I rescheduled us for an earlier train. Sorry. I know that's annoying. but if we want to have enough time to settle in at Wang before seeing your sister... it's kind of necessary, I'm afraid.

Michael's already here, and Victor's coming in tonight for the late shift, so that's covered. I'm just gonna try and get some last minute stuff done now, so that I can just wake you at the latest possible moment and just kind of... roll you out of bed and onto a train.

Sorry. I know you won't even hear this until I've already done it, but... I'm still sorry!

[Hangup]

[Beep]

[FX: TRAIN NOISES]

KANE: Hey, Michael, it's Kane. This is probably nothing, but can you check the laundry? I think I left the dryer on, and it's been playing up and not turning off when the timer finishes, so... if you could check it and make sure it's off, I'd really appreciate it. Sorry. Thanks.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

MICHAEL: Hey, Kane, I checked the dryer and it's definitely off. So you don't need to worry, everything is fine.

And everything is fine, I promise. Everyone is good here. Nothing bad has happened, so... enjoy your holiday, okay?

And thank you again for letting me show my paintings here - I got talking with someone about them today and they bought two of them!

[Hangup]

[Beep]

[FX: TRAIN NOISES]

KANE: Thanks, Michael. I appreciate it. Sorry. I'm just a bit nervous about meeting Jason's family, I think, and my brain is trying to find literally anything else to panic about. It's alarmly good at that, ugh.

Anyway. Thank you. And congratulations on selling some paintings!! Lots more will sell over the coming weeks, I know it. You're an incredible artist.

Looks like we'll be arriving at Wangaratta soon, so I'll talk to you later.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

VICTOR: [Nicely] Hey, Papa Bear, it's Victor. Jason texted me to ask if I could leave you a message, since you've been stressing out a bit. He thought it might calm you down to hear that things are good here.

Well, they absolutely are. Good, I mean. We're busy but not too busy, lots of new people and regulars as well.

Although if it would be more believable to hear how your children are misbehaving while you're away, Helen and Mira have taken your leave as an opportunity to put fairy lights up over the back lounge. But I promise you, I'll make sure they take them down before we all go to bed. There will be no accidental electric fires, don't worry.

Ah... what else? Oh, I bought in more plants when I came in, like you wanted. I was going to put them up over the bar, but Ricardo said you were really particular about knots that you, umm, wanted to use, or something? So... I've, uh, just put them on top of and around the back of the bar at the moment, and... you can string them up however you like, when you get back.

Uh... yeah. That's all I can think of. I promise I'll call and leave you another message if I can think of more to say, okay?

I hope you guys are having fun!

[Hangup]

[Beep]

VICTOR: [Tired] Hey, Papa Bear. Just closed up for the night, and everything went fine. And yes, the fairy lights have been taken down, so you don't need to worry about that, either. Although, I do have to say in their favour, they looked really good. I know you worry about the fire risk, but... uh, you buy, like, LED lights now, so... you know, I think maybe you should consider it.

[Sigh] You know... I've been learning a lot about gardening from Michael, and... I keep thinking about the Best of Luck, and about you guys, and... I don't know, I feel like I'm learning about more than gardening.

I know this probably sounds strange, but... I feel like our community is a bit like a garden.

Like... there's all these different plants, and they've all got different needs, like... some need more water, some need more sun, some need pollinating insects, that sort of thing. But they all need good soil, that's like... the foundation. You need good soil for a good garden. Without that, it doesn't matter how much sun or water or bees you throw at something, it won't grow if it's not supported by earth.

But it's not enough to ONLY have soil, either. You still need all these other resources - light, water, etc - and you also need to actually tend the garden. You need to pull weeds and get rid of pests, and... all that kind of stuff.

And I feel like... the queer community is a bit like that. We're all queer, that's our soil. But we all need different things, different resources, and different care, depending on our particular situation.

And our gardeners are like... people who run organizations, events, programs, advocacy... that sort of thing. Like, you guys are gardeners. You run this bar and take people in and you're like, actively working on making things nicer for all of us. You're tending us.

[Vulnerable] You tended me, you know? When I was in danger, and scared, and... everything, you took care of me. You're still doing it. You keep me in a job and you're always there to listen if I need to talk, and I just... I wanna do that too. I want to help people, I want to... tend the community.

I don't know if I'm up for being a gardener yet. Maybe just a more useful plant. But I mean that's a thing, too, like... plants can look after each other. Some plants keep bugs away, or enrich the soil, stuff like that.

I want to help, I just... don't know how, yet.

Anyway... god, I've talked for long enough. Sorry. Good thing Telstra increased the voicemail limit, huh?

I'm going to go to sleep now. And... who knows, maybe I'll dream up some answers.

I hope Wangaratta is treating you guys well, and Jason's family is being nice. We'll keep things running smoothly at this end.

And... thank you. For the tending.

[Hangup]

[Music]

ROSLYN: Love and Luck is written by Erin Kyan, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions.

Kane is voiced by Lee Davis-Thalbourne. Michael is voiced by Oscar Sabogal. Victor is voiced by DL Turnbull. Credits spoken by Roslyn Quin. Recorded by Kermie Breydon and Eris Barnes.

If you're enjoying Love and Luck, consider backing us on Patreon. We do our best not only to make a high quality show for you, but to pay everyone involved in its creation. Your monthly donation will be directly supporting queer art by queer people. Pledge now at patreon.com/passervulpes - that's patreon.com/ P A S S E R V U L P E S.

For more information about Love and Luck, check out our website, loveandluckpodcast.com. You can also find us on facebook as Love and Luck Podcast, on twitter as @LoveLuckPodcast, and on tumblr and instagram as loveandluckpodcast, all one word.

[Music fades out]

Episode 62 - Storm

[Dial tone]

[Hangup]

ROSLYN: You've reached the Love and Luck Podcast.

[Music]

[Beep]

[Pickup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey babe, hope you're sleeping well. Things are quiet again tonight, but that's not surprising. Wednesday nights aren't usually raging party nights. For most people. Personally, I think any night is ripe to be a raging party night if you want it to be, but... well, it's not my fault that society can't handle that truth.

So, I've been thinking, and I think you're right, we should ask Michael and Victor for some more plants for the bar. I've grown quite fond of these little sprigs, and I think it'd be nice to add some more greenery if we can. We can definitely talk about hanging plants over the bar like you wanted.

[FX: Door opens]

Ah, customer! I'll talk to you later. Love you.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: BABE. I've made a new best friend, she's basically the best person ever. Except for you, obviously, clearly you're the best person ever. BUT. She's a close second.

STORM: [Impatiently] Hey, c'mon! Gimme the phone!

JASON: ANYWAY, she wants in on this voicemail, so! Kane, my beloved boyfriend, meet Storm! our newest customer and like, clearly, one of the greatest people in the universe.

STORM: [Energetic] Hi! Kane, it's an honour to meet you via this most treasured form of communication between you two weirdos.

[JASON LAUGHS IN BACKGROUND]

When Jason was telling me that you guys leave voicemails for each other like love notes, I basically died. That's the cutest fucking thing I've ever heard.

Anyway! Anyway. [Serious] Kane. Kane, listen to me. This is a very special moment. I feel like fate brought me here.

Do you know how hard it is to find somewhere to go at this hour, that is not a bar full of drunken twenty year old straight men? It is extremely, extremely fucking hard. Walking into the Best of Luck Bar was like reaching a god damn oasis.

Jason said you did most of the work in terms of getting this bar up and running, so I owe you a god damn debt.

[Majestically] You are a prince among men, Kane, boyfriend of Jason. Thank you for granting a cup of peppermint tea and a god damn moment of peace and quiet to a nurse that just got off a ten hour shift and is looking at still another hour's drive home.

Bless you, and bless this tiny little bar that you have put together, and bless your weird voicemail thing with your boyfriend. Bless you.

JASON: ISN'T SHE GREAT? Hopefully you'll get to meet her in person sometime, assuming that she ever has a shift that doesn't end while you're sleeping.

I'm going to get her to tell me some gruesome medical stories right now, but I promise I'll leave you another message before I head to bed, okay?

STORM: Bye Kane!!!

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: [Sweetly] Hey baby. It is... veeeeery late, or early, or whatever. Storm stuck around for a bit past closing, actually. It's uh... it's closer to five than three, let's put it that way.

I think she was a little bit delirious, or clearly some kind of superhero, because I can't fathom being that cheerful and chatty after ten hours of doing ANYTHING, let alone working. Let alone working as a nurse, isn't that like... one of the most draining jobs in existence, or something?

Anyway. She's amazing. You know how sometimes you meet people, and you just... click? Like you just know, yes. This is someone I'm going to be good friends with. This is someone compatible with me, and my friends, and my lifestyle. That kind of thing. I felt that with her.

I don't know, maybe I'm just drunk on the wee hours. Shit does get weird this time of night. Inhibitions lower, everything's blurrier and sharper at the same time... yeah, I don't know. Everything is surreal and hyperreal and other... real... things.

Man, I should get to bed before the sun comes up.

I love you. And I haven't said it in a while, so, just a reminder? Thank you. You've made my life something amazing. It really is thanks to you and so much of your efforts that we have the Best of Luck Bar, and... just, thank you. Thank you for everything. I love you so much.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: [Amused] Hey honey. I gotta say, those were some interesting voicemails to wake up to.

I'm glad you made a new friend. I look forward to meeting her face sometime, since I've already met her voice. Assuming her shifts work out in a way for that to happen.

[Serious] And, Jason... this was a team effort. We could go "no, you did more to make this happen!" at each other all day, and in fact I'm pretty sure we have done that at some point in the past. But I think at this point we should just concede that we both put a lot of work into the bar.

I couldn't have done this without you, and you couldn't have done this without me. And that's okay, Jason, actually, that's... wonderful. It's all the more impressive in that it was both of us. We made it happen together.

We're a team. And the longer we're together... the more and more that feels true.

You know... I always worried about getting too wrapped up in someone. Like I'd disappear if I let myself get in too deep, you know? But... the complete opposite has happened. Being with you has made me more 'me' than... anything else in my life. The person I am now doesn't need you in order to exist or anything, but... I'm better because of you, and I'm better with you.

I love you. Thank you for everything.

[Hangup]

[Music]

ROSLYN: Love and Luck is written by Erin Kyan, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions.

Kane is voiced by Lee Davis-Thalbourne. Jason is voiced by Erin Kyan. Storm is voiced by Creatrix Tiara. Credits spoken by Roslyn Quin. Recorded by Kermie Breydon and Eris Barnes.

Thank you to Sian Dart for naming Storm.

If you're enjoying Love and Luck, consider backing us on Patreon. We do our best not only to make a high quality show for you, but to pay everyone involved in its creation. Your monthly donation will be directly supporting queer art by queer people. Pledge now at patreon.com/passervulpes - that's patreon.com/ P A S S E R V U L P E S.

For more information about Love and Luck, check out our website, loveandluckpodcast.com. You can also find us on facebook as Love and Luck Podcast, on twitter as @LoveLuckPodcast, and on tumblr and instagram as loveandluckpodcast, all one word.

[Music fades out]

Episode 61 - Invitations

[Dial tone]

[Hangup]

ROSLYN: You've reached the Love and Luck Podcast.

[Music]

[Beep]

[Pickup]

[Beep]

KANE: [Excited] Heeey! Guess what we just got in the mail!! An invitation to your sister's wedding!!

It's really pretty, I think there's like, real lace on this. And it's...

[Shocked] Holy shit, Jason. It's in two weeks.

Who sends out wedding invitations only two weeks head of time? Wait, hang on, there's a note in here as well...

[Reading] "A note to our guests: sorry for the short notice, but we grew tired of waiting for 'the right moment' to get married. We're excited to continue our lives together as a married couple as soon as we can, and what better moment to mark the change than new years day?"

[Verbal shrug] Well. That sure is one way to throw a wedding, I guess. Did you know about this? This feels like something that would come up in conversation when you talk to Maggie on the phone or something.

Well, uh, I guess we need to roster Victor and Michael for that weekend. Because, as I said a long time ago, I am not missing your sister's wedding. Aside from the fact I love weddings, I haven't even met your family yet, and a wedding seems like a nice time to do it.

[Excited] Ooh, we're gonna have to buy you a suit! Oh, that's gonna be fun. For me, mostly. I'm very much looking forward to seeing how you scrub up all fancy.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: [Solemn] Hey. Sarah just came in, she wanted to double check that she's still welcome here. Of course I told her that she was, and so did everyone else - even Mira. Then Sarah and Mira sat together and drank some tea and finished up some last minute breakup housekeeping - you know, who gets which books and that sort of thing.

I did my best not to eavesdrop, but when they both started crying a little I did head over to check on them. They were okay though. Just sad about breaking up.

Sarah left looking a bit better than when she came in, and Mira looks like she's had a weight lifted. Like, they're both still sad, that much is clear, but... I think today was a turning point for them.

I'm so glad they're handling themselves so well. Not just that they're looking after themselves and all that, but... they were still very gentle with each other, even in that painful time right after the breakup itself. There's no animosity. Just sadness, and that's understandable.

They're good girls. They'll be okay.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey babe. Pretty busy night tonight, but all closed up now.

We need to order more of that fancy Tasmanian tea again, by the way. It continues to sell fast as hell.

[Content sigh] Ah... I like nights like tonight. Lots of people to keep me occupied, lots of life downstairs. I do still miss clubbing sometimes, to be honest, so... nights like this help ease that a bit.

Better soak it all up best I can before we have to go to the country for a bit, yikes.

I know you're excited but... I'm conflicted. Like I've said before, I'm not a huge fan of weddings, and... family is complicated. I mean... I'll be there, for my sister, no doubt about that. I'm happy for her, and I love her soon-to-be husband.

But... our parents will probably be there too, and that's... well, that'll be interesting, that's for sure.

Ah well, [Sigh] let's stay positive. At least I'll have you with me. And hopefully it will be a lovely wedding and no one will tell us that we're going to hell.

I love you. I love you so much I'm even going to let you make me wear a suit. Which, frankly, says an awful lot about the high level of my devotion.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

MIRA: [Tired] Hey Papa Bear. I kind of wanted to talk, but... not to anyone who might talk back, and... I don't know, I hope it's okay if I leave you another voicemail or two. I just... I need to clear my head, I think, and... this is actually a really helpful way of doing that.

[Sigh] [Sad] It was hard to see Sarah today. I mean... it was good. [Tearful] But it was hard.

Everything feels more... final, now. Like... it's not that... didn't feel final before, it's just... now it feels like something that's happened, rather than something that's still happening, you know?

I'm glad we're still on good terms. And I'm glad she feels like she can still come to the bar. Like... it's painful for me to see her, but I still want her to feel welcome and involved with the people here. I don't want us to be on the other side of a social chasm, you know? I want us to be okay.

[Quietly] I just want us to be okay.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

RICARDO: Hey, CJ... it's Ricardo.

I know it's probably weird to get a voicemail from me when you're going to wake up next to me, but... well, I started leaving voicemails for Jason when I couldn't sleep, and so... now I'm kind of developing that as a habit, I guess.

[Nervous] But... I don't need to connect with Jason tonight. I just want to talk, and... I want to talk to you. Even if you're not available to listen right this second.

Thank you for this weekend. [More nervous] I'm... sorry I freaked out last night after meeting your housemates. I... I know I can be a lot to deal with. I'm sorry. I'm trying to get better, I really am. I'm just... not there yet.

[Calmer] But... I had a really good time at Healesville today. I felt... a bit lighter.

I love animals so much, and... getting to see them all, and be with you at the same time was really, really good. I felt like my soul could breathe.

Thank you for helping me get out of my head for a little while. Let's hold hands in the sunshine again sometime soon, okay?

[Hangup]

[Beep]

CJ: [Happy] Hey Ricardo. I figured since you let me sleep, I should do the same for you now that it's morning. I was going to head out and buy something for us for breakfast, but then I thought it might worry you if you woke up and I wasn't around, so I'll just hang out in the kitchen until you're awake, okay?

[Kindly] And, hey, don't be sorry about freaking out. It's okay. Really, it is. We've all got our stuff, and I don't mind dealing with yours.

[Sweetly] Being with you makes me feel like my soul can breathe, too.

[Hangup]

[Music]

ROSLYN: Love and Luck is written by Erin Kyan, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions.

Kane is voiced by Lee Davis-Thalbourne. Jason is voiced by Erin Kyan. Mira is voiced by Tahlia Celenn. Ricardo is voiced by Justin Jones Li. CJ is voiced by Jai Moore. Credits spoken by Roslyn Quin. Recorded by Kermie Breydon and Eris Barnes.

If you're enjoying Love and Luck, consider backing us on Patreon. We do our best not only to make a high quality show for you, but to pay everyone involved in its creation. Your monthly donation will be directly supporting queer art by queer people. Pledge now at patreon.com/passervulpes - that's patreon.com/ P A S S E R V U L P E S.

For more information about Love and Luck, check out our website, loveandluckpodcast.com. You can also find us on facebook as Love and Luck Podcast, on twitter as @LoveLuckPodcast, and on tumblr and instagram as loveandluckpodcast, all one word.

[Music fades out]

Episode 60 - She Doesn't Believe Us

[Dial tone]

[Pickup]

ROSLYN: You've reached the Love and Luck Podcast.

[Music]

[Beep]

[Pickup]

[Beep]

KANE: [Urgently] Jason! Apparently Ricardo already left you a message about this, but anyway, he took me aside this morning and asked me how long Helen's been able to use magic! Helen!

I was completely speechless. I mean... did you know Helen was doing magic? I sure as hell didn't, and I thought maybe... like, at first I thought maybe he just thought she could do magic, because she's just generally a really comforting person, you know? Like, maybe he thought it was magic, but it's just her being her.

But... he told me that she's done the exact same things that we do. She can reach inside people and affect their emotions. It's not nice words or good hugs, he said it feels physical. He can feel her gently smoothing out the spikes in his emotions. Which is... which is just like how it feels when we do it.

I... what's going on? How did we not know? She's been here over a year, how did we never notice that she can do magic too?

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Okay, so, Helen update. Ricardo tried to ask her about the magic, but... she misinterpreted, I think. Which was easy to do since he basically just asked her "hey, how is it that you can make people feel better so easily". She just waved it off.

So... then he tried to be a bit more specific. Told her that the way she soothed people seemed supernatural, like she was weaving magic. And... she laughed it off. Said she was flattered.

I can't tell if she doesn't know she's doing it, or if she just doesn't want anyone to know that she can. Which, y'know... I can relate to, on both of those counts.

I don't know. Should we push harder, or should we just... leave it alone? I mean... whether she knows about it or not, she had the opportunity to talk to us about it when we asked, but she didn't take it, so... maybe it's better to just leave her be, at least for a little while?

God, I don't know. Fuck. I am... I take back everything I said about this not being dramatic. This is... [Astounded scoff] I don't even know! I am completely flabbergasted.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey. Bedtime voicemail. I'm... kind of having trouble getting to sleep, to be honest.

I feel so weird about today. Like... I can't believe we didn't know Helen can do magic. I feel like an idiot. Like... looking back on it? She's been... [Exhale] How did we miss it, you know?

Then again, I mean... it's not like what we do is particularly noticeable, right? I mean... it took Ricardo to notice it. As far as we know, no one else has ever felt our soothing clearly enough to know that an outside force was doing it.

[Sigh] Ugh. I just keep going round in circles. I just... I don't know. I guess I just wish it was easier to talk to her about it. I don't know.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey babe. Quiet night tonight, just closing up now.

Ricardo and I had another go at talking to Helen. And honestly? I don't think she knows she's doing it.

I ended up getting kind of... direct, which... sorry in advance, I know you're probably not a huge fan of that idea. But I mean... I'm not the brightest crayon, you know? I can only talk in code for so long before I get kind of confused myself.

She was... not particularly convinced that she's doing anything magical. Honestly, the conversation reminded me a lot of when it first started happening to us, and you were like, "oh, no, it's just a coincidence, it's just this, it's just that..."

I asked her some stuff about how she feels when she's comforting people, and stuff like that since... you know, we definitely feel it when we do magic. It makes our brains all tingly and stretchy and stuff.

She did say that she gets that feeling sometimes. But she thinks it's like an ASMR type deal.

Ricardo asked her when it first started happening, and... apparently it started a few weeks after she moved in with us. So... we have a bit of a timeline, I guess. So that's something.

But... yeah. She's not really buying it, and... I don't know. I don't want to push her, you know? I think maybe you were right, maybe we should just... let sleeping dogs lie, at least for a little while. Maybe if we get anywhere in figuring out where all this comes from, we can revisit talking to Helen about it? I don't know.

Well, anyway. Other than things being confusing and Helen being a lot like you in terms of not recognizing the coolness of magic powers, everything's good otherwise.

I love you. I'll see you tomorrow.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

CJ: [Nervous] Hey, Ricardo, it's CJ. I hope this doesn't wake you. I know you tend to sleep pretty late.

Um, I kind of miss you. It's been like, over a week since I saw you last and... yeah. I was wondering if you'd like to come stay over at my place this weekend? My housemates want to meet you anyway, and... yeah um, I was thinking maybe we could head up to Healesville Sanctuary on Sunday? I remember you saying a little while ago that you hadn't been, and... yeah, I think you'd really like it. At first I thought maybe I'd take you there as a surprise, but... then I remembered that surprises are kind of bad and triggery for you, so... I'm asking about it instead.

Um, yeah. Let me know.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

RICARDO: [Awkwardly] Hey, CJ. Sorry I missed your call. I, uh... yeah, I was sleeping.

I miss you too. Things have been kind of strange lately. I wouldn't even know where to begin with explaining it, and I mean... [Sigh] It's kind of not my business to talk about anyway, so... ugh, sorry. Can't really talk about it. I hate to be cryptic like that, but... well, I know you get it.

Anyway. I'd like to come meet your housemates. And... yeah, I'd really like to go to Healesville Sanctuary with you. That sounds like a really perfect weekend. Sign me the hell up.

And... thank you. For not surprising me. That... really means a lot. Because, yeah, surprises can set off my PTSD in a bad way. So... thanks.

I, um... yeah. I really like you. Talk to you later.

[Hangup]

[Music]

ROSLYN: Love and Luck is written by Erin Kyan, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions.

Kane is voiced by Lee Davis-Thalbourne. Jason is voiced by Erin Kyan. Ricardo is voiced by Justin Jones Li. CJ is voiced by Jai Moore. Credits spoken by Roslyn Quin. Recorded by Kermie Breydon and Eris Barnes.

If you're enjoying Love and Luck, consider backing us on Patreon. We do our best not only to make a high quality show for you, but to pay everyone involved in its creation. Your monthly donation will be directly supporting queer art by queer people. Pledge now at patreon.com/passervulpes - that's patreon.com/ P A S S E R V U L P E S.

For more information about Love and Luck, check out our website, loveandluckpodcast.com. You can also find us on facebook as Love and Luck Podcast, on twitter as @LoveLuckPodcast, and on tumblr and instagram as loveandluckpodcast, all one word.

[Music fades out]

Episode 59 - Stars In Her Hair

[Dial tone]

[Pickup]

ROSLYN: You've reached the Love and Luck Podcast.

[Music]

[Beep]

[Pickup]

[Beep]

KANE: [Nervous] Hey, Ricardo, it's Kane. I, uh... jeez, I hope you check your voicemail before you get up today.

Anyway, um, Jason left me a message letting me know that you can feel us do our... weird soothing thing. And I just wanted to ask you... maybe not to mention it to anyone else yet, if that's okay? We... still don't know much about what it even is, or where it comes from, and... we just don't want people to think we're making shit up, you know?

Anyway, um, yeah. I guess... we'll talk about it later.

Honestly, I'm... actually kind of relieved that you can feel it. It means... it means we're not alone, and it means we can talk about it with you. Jason and I... we haven't been able to talk to anyone else about this since it started happening so... yeah. I'm... kind of excited to have someone else in the know.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey babe. I hope you're sleeping well. Tonight was a really late night for you.

Ricardo's gone to bed as well. I'm sending some more soothing sleep magic his way again, and, yes, I promise to be a bit more restrained tonight so I don't wear myself out again.

It was... really good to be able to talk with Ricardo about everything tonight. I mean... fuck, I've wanted to brag about these sweet fucking powers ever since we got them, and... well, okay, actually getting to do that was a bit of a let down since it turns out "we can make people happy and lucky" doesn't feel like much of a brag, but still. It's something.

I wish we had more answers to his questions, though. Hell, I wish we had answers to our own damn questions. Having someone else in on it like this is this huge reminder that we have no fucking clue what the fuck we're doing.

I gotta say, it's kind of disappointing that he didn't have any idea where all this stuff comes from either. I guess... I was kind of holding out hope that when we finally had someone else to talk to about it, it'd be someone with answers, you know? Someone who could fill us in on all the stuff we're clearly missing.

[Sigh] Ah well. It's still nice to be have someone outside of us to talk to about it. Even if it feels kind of weird, after so long keeping it secret. It's going to take some getting used to, I think. But that's okay.

I love you. See you tomorrow.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey honey. Things are good down here this morning. Helen's been teaching Mira about all these different types of tea, including like... what temperature they should be brewed at, and stuff like that. She knows so much more than me about tea.

Huh. Potentially I should be paying more attention to this lesson. Maybe she can teach me some of this stuff too.

Anyway, yeah, I know what you mean. It feels kind of... surreal, actually. Ricardo knowing about us. I was kind of expecting it to be a much more dramatic thing too, you know? Not that I wanted it to be, I just... expected it to be. Maybe I just grew up with too many soap operas.

Ah, I should go. Couple of customers look like they need attention.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: [Quietly] Hey babe. Be quiet when you come downstairs in the morning. Mira was having kind of a rough night, she was really upset about Sarah again.

I stayed up talking with her, and soothed her as best I could, and she eventually started to feel sleepy so she's just gone to sleep on the red couch at the back of the bar.

I'm sure she won't mind being woken up before you open tomorrow, but, yeah, maybe let her wake up gently to the smell of coffee or something.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey honey. Mira's doing a lot better this morning. She's in the shower now. We had breakfast together and she had another little cry, but she's holding up really well, honestly. I was a much bigger mess during all my breakups, even the short term ones.

I guess maybe it helps that the breakup wasn't a mean spirited one, or because someone did something wrong. It was just... incompatibility. Which sucks, but... I don't know. Honestly, I'm so proud of those girls for having the strength to break up at all. Like you said, the temptation is to always say "love conquers all", but... all that does is push the problems back to be handled at a later date. It doesn't solve them.

Oh, it sounds like Tom and Brandon are up. I should see if they want breakfast too.

I love you. And I love our busy little bar full of good people doing their best at life.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: [Quietly] Hey, it's me. I thought I'd leave you a message to tell you about the absolutely adorable thing happening downstairs in our bar right now.

It's... about two in the morning, and there's no customers. Ricardo just went to bed a little while ago, so there's just me behind the bar, and Helen and Mira sitting on the couches at the back, folding origami stars together.

I can't hear what they're talking about, but Mira looks really, genuinely happy for the first time since she came back here. She used your sewing kit to string some of the stars together, and Helen's wearing them around her head like a flower crown.

I don't know, Kane. It's just... I love these girls, and I'm so glad we know them.

And I'm just so glad Helen is around in general.. She's just... I don't know. Everyone likes her. She's really, really special and I honestly treasure the fact she's with us. She makes me glad not just to be alive, but to be alive in the same time and place as her.

[Chuckles] Ah, listen to me. I'm getting all sentimental and shit. Normally I only do that about you. Or... well, no, actually. I do that about a lot of people and places and things these days. I never used to, but... now I do.

I do think you're the reason why, though. I feel way more comfortable being sentimental since being with you. You make it easy to have feelings and shit. It's safe and good with you.

I love you. And... I love that you help me love other people too.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: [Sweetly] Hey. I love you too.

And I'm glad I make you sentimental. In my opinion, the world could use more sentimentality.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

RICARDO: Hey Jason, it's Ricardo again.

Sorry for yet another voicemail. I imagine my voice is a little disappointing to hear when you're waiting for love notes from your boyfriend instead. But, well... you said I could call you, and... it really does seem to help to scream into the void. It really does.

I think, maybe, I'm starting to get why you and Kane leave voicemails for each other all the time. It's... different, but I mean... it's just another method of communication, really. With all its own problems and benefits.

[Sigh] I'm still having nightmares. I really hope the doctor I see today can give me something. I know you and Kane are helping me sleep, but... you need to sleep too, you know? You can't be beaming sleep magic at me all the time.

I should either go back to sleep or get out of bed. It's late - or early, I suppose - enough that the bar is open. I can hear people downstairs. So maybe I should just... get up, and stop lying here.

[Decisively] Yeah. Yeah, breakfast sounds good, if nothing else. I wonder if Kane still has any of those frittatas he made? Those were really good.

Oh - before I hang up, I keep forgetting to ask. I know you and Kane started noticing your magic stuff not long after you started seeing each other.

When did Helen start being able to use hers?

[Hangup]

[Music]

ROSLYN: Love and Luck is written by Erin Kyan, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions.

Kane is voiced by Lee Davis-Thalbourne. Jason is voiced by Erin Kyan. Ricardo is voiced by Justin Jones Li. Credits spoken by Roslyn Quin. Recorded by Kermie Breydon and Eris Barnes.

Thank you to Milton Hallin for supporting this episode.

If you're enjoying Love and Luck, consider backing us on Patreon. We do our best not only to make a high quality show for you, but to pay everyone involved in its creation. Your monthly donation will be directly supporting queer art by queer people. Pledge now at patreon.com/passervulpes - that's patreon.com/ P A S S E R V U L P E S.

For more information about Love and Luck, check out our website, loveandluckpodcast.com. You can also find us on facebook as Love and Luck Podcast, on twitter as @LoveLuckPodcast, and on tumblr and instagram as loveandluckpodcast, all one word.

Episode 58 - Ricardo's Observation

[Dial tone]

[Pickup]

ROSLYN: You've reached the Love and Luck Podcast.

[Music]

[Beep]

[Pickup]

[Beep]

RICARDO: [frustrated] Hi, it's Ricardo again. I'm... it's another bad night.

[Sigh] I keep having the same nightmare. I mean... I have a lot of nightmares, and they're not all the same, but... there's this one I keep having that wakes me up every single time.

I'm in a forest, and... I'm trying to run away from people who are trying to hurt me. But I keep getting my clothes caught on branches, or tripping over rocks, things like that. And I can hear the people getting closer and closer, and angrier and angrier.

And then I smell smoke, and the birds are flying towards me, and I realize that the forest is on fire. The people are still chasing me, and I realize I have to make a choice. Either I run into the fire and burn, or I wait for the people chasing me to come kill me.

So I run into the fire. I start to burn, and it's the worst pain I've ever felt, and I start screaming... and then, I wake up.

I mean, it's not exactly subtle. I'm trapped and I end up hurt and dying. I don't need a dream interpreter to tell me what's going on with that.

[Sigh] I just wish I could stop it. I'd give just about anything for a single night of peaceful, uninterrupted sleep. Maybe I should see a doctor or something. I don't know.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey Jason, if I'm not home when you get downstairs, don't worry. Ricardo just wanted company to the doctor, so I'm going with him for moral support.

We shouldn't be too long, the wait time isn't too bad at Acland Court. Michael and Helen are holding down the fort while I'm gone.

See you when you get up or when we get back, however it works out.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

[Shopping Centre Ambiance]

KANE: [Annoyed] Well, that was a waste of time. The receptionist made a mistake and there wasn't actually an available appointment after all. And they're booked solid at the moment due to some flu going around, so, ugh.

We made a new appointment for Friday, so that's something, but it does mean a couple more rough nights for Ricardo.

I'm... still in public, so I'll drop you another message when we get back. Love you.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey. So. Now that I can talk a little more freely - remember how I used to help you sleep through noise with magic? I'm normally asleep by the time Ricardo goes to bed, so I can't really do that for him myself, but maybe you could? It's gotta be a worth a try. Poor guy looks exhausted.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: [Tired] Hey. So, it's like... five thirty, Jesus Christ. Anyway. I'm gonna come up to bed like... right after I leave this message.

Ricardo was putting off going to bed for a long time tonight. Didn't want the nightmares, I guess. I get that.

We stayed up a while talking about stuff. We talked about finding him a therapist, but... I don't know if he'll try. Finding the right therapist is rough even when you aren't queer, you know? But... I told him I'd call QLife and get some referrals from there, so... maybe we can find someone good. I hope we can.

It was... hard. We talked about some hard things. But... I think it helped? A bit? I don't know. Maybe I just hope it helped.

Anyway. I've been trying to magic some soothing sleep his way for the past twenty minutes or so. I hope it's working, because I'm exhausted and can't wait to go to sleep myself.

I love you. See you tomorrow.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey honey. Ricardo's not up yet, so that's a good sign towards some decent sleep. I've been trying to extend his sleep this morning, as well.

I hope you're sleeping well. You sure seemed to be when I got up this morning, although... you did look a bit rough. I think you might have worn yourself out a little last night.

I love you, but maybe use a little less energy if you try again tonight, yeah? You're not much use to anyone if you wear yourself out, you know? Good self care practice applies as much to magic as it does to anything else. Remember our mundanity rule.

I love that you're willing to tire yourself out for people, though, even if it's not the best idea. It makes me really happy to know I have such a caring and compassionate boyfriend. You make me feel like making the world better is not just possible, but achievable. [Sigh] I love you.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: [Nervously] Hey, okay. So. Kind of a big development tonight.

I was chatting with Ricardo as I was closing up, and he asked me if I could, quote, "do that thing you did last night again", because it helped him sleep a lot better.

At first I was like, what, you wanna talk for a while before bed? Because that's cool, I'm up for that. I mean, I'm usually happy to chat with anyone who's still up before I go to bed. Helen's often around for it too. It's nice quiet bonding time, you know?

But then he said, "No, I mean, can you do that thing where you reach into my head and smooth out the bad feelings."

I must have looked like I saw a ghost, because he started asking me if I was okay, because I looked like I was going to be sick or something.

Fuck, Kane. I didn't feel like I was going to be sick, but I did feel like the fucking floor fell out from under me.

No one's ever been able to feel us soothing them before. Or at least, not that we know of, I guess. No one's ever mentioned anything even close to it.

I asked him for more details, and... it sounds like he's been able to feel us soothing him for a while now. Not the whole time we've known him - no, from the sounds of it, he only started noticing it after the whole thing with the homophobes was finished. But that's... that's still a few weeks now, at least.

Anyway, uh... yeah. So, I did soothe him, and tried to help him sleep again like last night, and... uh, well, he hasn't come back downstairs or anything, so I guess it must have worked.

But... holy shit, Kane. Ricardo can feel our magic. He knows.

[Hangup]

[Music]

ROSLYN: Love and Luck is written by Erin Kyan, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions.

Kane is voiced by Lee Davis-Thalbourne. Jason is voiced by Erin Kyan. Ricardo is voiced by Justin Jones Li. Credits spoken by Roslyn Quin. Recorded by Kermie Breydon and Eris Barnes.

Thank you to Red L for supporting this episode.

Qlife is a real counselling, and mental health and referral service for LGBTIQA+ people in Australia. If you need support, you can can contact them online at qlife.org.au or by phone on 1800 184 527, between 3pm and midnight, any day of the week.

If you're enjoying Love and Luck, consider backing us on Patreon. We do our best not only to make a high quality show for you, but to pay everyone involved in its creation. Your monthly donation will be directly supporting queer art by queer people. Pledge now at patreon.com/passervulpes - that's patreon.com/ P A S S E R V U L P E S.

For more information about Love and Luck, check out our website, loveandluckpodcast.com. You can also find us on facebook as Love and Luck Podcast, on twitter as @LoveLuckPodcast, and on tumblr and instagram as loveandluckpodcast, all one word.

[Music fades out]

Episode 57 - Checking In With Sarah

[Dial tone]

[Pickup]

ROSLYN: You've reached the Love and Luck Podcast.

[Music]

[Beep]

[Pickup]

[Beep]

MICHAEL: Hi Kane, it's Michael. I have some really nice cuttings that I've put into small pots that I could bring to the Best of Luck, if you'd like them? They are already pretty stable and don't need much watering, so they won't be hard to look after. I thought they'd look lovely on the tables, or something like that. So... let me know if you'd like them.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: [Tired, happy] Hey honey. Bedtime voicemail as requested.

Today was really good. Nothing in particular, just... overall, really nice.

Lots of customers, but not too many to feel overwhelming. All our boarders hanging out together and talking and playing board games to help Mira keep her mind occupied. You and Victor snapping each other with tea towels. [Laughs] He's better at it than you are, by the way. Sorry. I love you, but Victor is just clearly the superior towel snapper.

[Sigh] It's nice to have Mira back. [Flustered] Wait, I don't mean--fuck, you know. I don't mean it in that way. I wish it wasn't... I wish she wasn't hurting. I wish a breakup wasn't what made it happen. I'm not happy that she's been hurt or that she needs us, you know? I just mean... I just mean that I love that kid, and I like having her around.

I... should probably not call her a kid. That's probably like... super condescending. She's what, twenty one? She's not exactly a newborn.

She seems to be doing a lot better today, at least. I know it's going to take a while for her to really recover from this, but... I think she'll get through it okay. She's handling it really well, you know? Like... yeah, she's crying a lot, but like... that's kind of what I mean. She's letting herself feel devastated, she's not trying to push it away or not deal with it, and she's not getting angry or self destructive. Honestly, she's handling this really, really well, even if she doesn't feel like she is.

[Sigh] I hope Sarah is doing okay, too.

I texted her yesterday but didn't hear back. Maybe I should give her a call? I just... I don't want her to think that we're not here for her too, if she needs us.

Yeah, I think I'll give her a quick call before I go to sleep.

I love you. See you tomorrow.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey Sarah, it's Kane, from the Best of Luck Bar. Just checking in. Jason and I just want you to know that we love you and if you need anything to just give us a call, okay? I know you're probably hurting a lot and not feeling up to much right now, so... don't worry about returning this call if it stresses you out, okay? Just... know that we're here for you too, if you need us.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey babe. Bar's closed up and everyone's gone to bed. I'm about to do the same.

Good news though, Sarah returned your call not too long after you went to bed. She tried calling your phone first, but when you didn't pick up she called me instead.

She's doing as well as can be expected, just like Mira. We talked for a little while.

She was really glad to get your message. She figured we'd be taking sides or something, and that she wouldn't be welcome here, and that the first text was just kindof a politeness thing, you know? But I reassured her that's not the case. Told her again that we care about her and if she needs anything, she can call us and we'll figure something out.

So you can rest a bit easier. Sarah knows we still love her.

And... yeah. I know what you mean about it being nice to have Mira around again, even if the circumstances for that really suck. She was one of our first boarders. Before we remodelled, before the whole thing with the posters started... [Chuckle] wow, it feels like she's been a part of our lives for a really long time, huh? Even though it's only been... what, a bit over a year?

Man, who even knows. Keeping track of time is hard, fuck that.

[YAWNS] Man, sleep can't come soon enough. See you tomorrow Kane. I love you so much.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Although, how dare you. I am clearly the better towel snapper between Victor and I!

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey, Michael just brought in those cuttings he was telling us about. They're so cute, they're like little baby trees! I've put them around on some tables like Michael suggested, and it's got me thinking about maybe getting some more plants at some point. How do you feel about that “hanging plants above the bar” hipster sort of look? I feel like it has some potential, to be honest.

Also, I apologise. You are clearly the best towel snapper.

At least while Victor is out of earshot.

[Hangup]

[Music]

ROSLYN

Love and Luck is written by Erin Kyan, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions.

Kane is voiced by Lee Davis-Thalbourne. Jason is voiced by Erin Kyan. Michael is voiced by Oscar Sabogal. Credits spoken by Roslyn Quin. Recorded by Kermie Breydon and Eris Barnes.

Thank you to Abigail Michelle for supporting this episode.

If you're enjoying Love and Luck, consider backing us on Patreon. We do our best not only to make a high quality show for you, but to pay everyone involved in its creation. Your monthly donation will be directly supporting queer art by queer people. Pledge now at patreon.com/passervulpes - that's patreon.com/ P A S S E R V U L P E S.

For more information about Love and Luck, check out our website, loveandluckpodcast.com. You can also find us on facebook as Love and Luck Podcast, on twitter as @LoveLuckPodcast, and on tumblr and instagram as loveandluckpodcast, all one word.

[Music fades out]

Episode 56 - Mira's Return

[Dial tone]

[Pickup]

ROSLYN: You've reached the Love and Luck Podcast.

[Music]

[Beep]

[Pickup]

[Beep]

MIRA: [Crying] Hi, it's Mira. I... We broke up. Sarah and I broke up. I'm so... I don't know what to do, Papa Bear. I don't know what to do. Can I-- Can I please come back to stay at the bar again? Please? I don't... I don't know what else to do.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: [Tired] Hey babe. Everyone's asleep and I've just closed up the bar.

Mira took a lot of convincing to actually try sleeping, but Helen... somehow managed to get through to her. Asked her real gently, "Please look after my friend Mira", and that... well, first it made Mira cry some more, but then she nodded and agreed to try.

Might have to remember that phrasing. Might help some things later on, not just with Mira. Admittedly it might have just been because Helen was the one who said it. She really does have some kind of calming way about her.

Speaking of calm, I've tried to send some soothing sleepy vibes upstairs over the past little while and... I think Mira's asleep now. I mean, I'm not 100% sure, but... I did duck upstairs to see how you were sleeping a little while ago, and I couldn't hear any more crying coming from her room so... hopefully that means she's sleeping.

[Sigh] Poor kid. Breaking up with your first love is so devastating.

I remember mine - he was this sweet boy named Cameron. We were... I think nineteen? So... yeah, not that much younger than Mira, I guess.

Ah, we were so bad for each other. Not like, toxic bad. Just... not compatible, at all. He wanted to do the serious boyfriend thing, and settle down together and all that, and I... was not up for that. So... yeah. Kinda the same thing that broke up Sarah and Mira, from what little she was able to tell us today.

I still gotta put chairs up before I can come to bed. [Sigh] Might leave you another message after I've done that. Love you.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: [Tired] Hey. All done downstairs now. Just outside for some fresh air before I come to bed.

[Sigh] Man, I've been thinking about Cameron since I left you that last message. I wonder what he's up to these days? I wonder if he found someone to settle down with? I haven't really heard anything about him since we broke up.

We probably stayed together longer than we should have, really. But you don't think about that when you're young and in love. You want to believe you'll get through anything. Love conquers all, and all that.

It doesn't, though. A lot of things conquer love, turns out. Compatibility. History. Circumstances. Stupidity.

I did love him, though. I don't think he thought that I did. I think he thought that I was there for the sex and nothing else. And I mean, I was definitely distant to him in a lot of ways. I didn't exactly have a healthy relationship with my own emotions, you know?

I didn't love him deeply like how I love you. You're... you're different from everyone else I've ever loved. It feels... way more intense with you. But way more casual and comfortable, too. I feel like I can be myself with you. All aspects of myself, not just any particular side of me.

But I did love him. In my own way. It still hurt a lot when we broke up. I got... very, very wasted, on many, many different substances for a good long while after that breakup.

But... [Sigh] I came good. And I'm sure Mira will too. I'm glad we can be here for her.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: [Sweetly] Hey. I like it when you get introspective in the wee hours. I really like waking up to long voicemails from you. It gives me a really nice start to the day.

Mira's not up yet, which is a good sign, I think. Hopefully she's still sleeping soundly.

No one's up yet, actually. It's just me and the coffee machine.

[Sigh] Yeah. First loves are hard. Mine was a girl named Erika. We were... like the token queer kids at school, so... it was kind of natural for us to date, I think. I was... I think I was fifteen, when we got together? We were together for nearly two years, actually. I think everyone was expecting us to stay together for good, or at least like.... a really long time.

But, yeah, well. She fell in love with someone else, so... that was the end of it for us. It was... as good of a breakup as a couple of teenagers can have, I think. We were trying really hard not to hurt each other over it.

Foolishly, we tried to stay friends even though we were hurting far too much to be friends. And that... went a little worse than the breakup itself, sadly. We stopped speaking to each other only a couple of weeks later.

Hey, this might seem out of nowhere, but... talking about past loves... well, you know, some of mine are women. And... I've caught a lot of shit from people over the years for being bi, but you've never done that to me.

I just want you to know that I really, really appreciate that. Like... I know it might seem like nothing to you, but... trust me. I notice the absence of shittiness on this issue. And I appreciate it a lot.

Thank you. For being you. I love everything about you.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

MIRA: [Tired, Fragile] Hey Papa Bear. Ricardo said that when he's having a bad night, he leaves messages for Jason, and that it can be helpful, so... I thought... maybe I'd try that too.

Only I'm leaving a message for you and not Jason. I hope that's okay. You just... I don't know. You're really gentle and soft, and... I guess I just need that right now. [Quietly] I don't know.

I feel like the whole world is falling to pieces around me. I know it's not, but... that's how it feels. I keep looking at people who are okay and feeling like... "How can you be okay? Can't you see the world is ending?"

[Laugh] God, listen to me. I'm so dramatic. I'm sorry. I'm trying not to be. I'm trying to keep it together and move on, but I just... [sniff] I just... [Tearing up] I loved her, and I miss her so much already, and I just... [Crying] I didn't expect things to go this way.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

MIRA: [Still upset, but trying] Hey. Me again.

Sorry. I thought... I thought I could talk about this without crying, but... I guess I'm not there yet.

[Deep breath]

[Sad] It was kids, you know. The straw that broke the camel's back. She wants to have kids someday, ideally sooner rather than later, and I... I just don't. I don't think I even want kids at all.

And... there was other stuff. Like I said, this was just the final straw. We just... wanted different things. Like... I wanted to experiment with open relationships. We're young, you know? I don't want to get older and feel like I missed out on something because I was monogamous from the beginning. I don't even know if I want to be monogamous in the long run. But... if I do, I don't want to regret it, you know?

[Voice catches] I... I thought we were going to try all that stuff out together, though. I didn't think... I didn't think it was something that was going to break us up.

I know... [Sigh] I know that this is for the best. We... we couldn't have been happy in the long run. Not like this. No matter which way we went, one of us would have been miserable. And I know that, I just...

I just wish it didn't have to be this way.

[Deep breath] You know, I do actually feel a little better.

Thanks for listening, Papa Bear. See you in the morning.

[Hangup]

ROSLYN: Love and Luck is written by Erin Kyan, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions.

Kane is voiced by Lee Davis-Thalbourne. Jason is voiced by Erin Kyan. Mira is voiced by Tahlia Celenn. Credits spoken by Roslyn Quin. Recorded by Kermie Breydon and Eris Barnes.

Thank you to Our Kink for supporting this episode.

If you're enjoying Love and Luck, consider backing us on Patreon. We do our best not only to make a high quality show for you, but to pay everyone involved in its creation. Your monthly donation will be directly supporting queer art by queer people. Pledge now at patreon.com/passervulpes - that's patreon.com/ P A S S E R V U L P E S.

For more information about Love and Luck, check out our website, loveandluckpodcast.com. You can also find us on facebook as Love and Luck Podcast, on twitter as @LoveLuckPodcast, and on tumblr and instagram as loveandluckpodcast, all one word.

[Music fades out]

Episode 55 - Ricardo and CJ

[Dial tone]

[Pickup]

ROSLYN: You've reached the Love and Luck Podcast.

[Music]

[Beep]

[Pickup]

[Beep]

VICTOR: Hey Kane. I'll talk to you and Jason about this when I see you on Wednesday, but I just wanted to drop you a line now before I forget.

Michael's been having a lot of trouble finding any kind of job. Most places won't hire him because they're racist arseholes, and non-racist arseholes seem to all be homophobic arseholes instead.

I was thinking of maybe seeing if I could get a second job, and maybe Michael could take some of my shifts at the bar? I mean, he already knows how it all works, and everyone already knows him, so... I think it could work pretty well.

We'll talk about this in person, but, uh, yeah... I just wanted to raise the idea.

[Pickup]

[Beep]

CJ: [Nervous] Hey, Ricardo, it's CJ. Um... Uh. I-I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed talking with you at the party the other night, especially bonding over asexuality stuff, and uh.... I-I'd like to hang out with you again sometime, if you'd be into that?

Uh, to be clear, I'd like to hang out with you anyway, but... I'm kind of specifically asking this in a date kind of way.

So... let me know if you're interested. If not, no worries, and I'd still like to hang out platonically sometime if you're up for that.

[Pickup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey babe, when you wake up tomorrow, can you talk to Ricardo? CJ asked him out, and he's interested, but... he's feeling like he shouldn't date anyone because of his PTSD.

He seems to think that he'd be bad to date, or hard to date, or something like that. And it's not like he's not interested, he's just... worried that he's not good enough, or that his PTSD will get in the way or ruin it or something.

I remember you had some similar feelings about your anxiety when we first started going out together, so... I thought maybe you could help him get through it?

I already told him that if someone likes him then it doesn't matter if he has problems or not, because like... I've been with you for over two years now and your anxiety isn't a problem for me at all. I mean... I hate it when it's a problem for you, because I love you and I don't want you to be hurting, but it's not like... it's not a problem for me, you know?

But... yeah. I think he's feeling a bit broken and... I don't want him to feel that way. I don't think of him that way, and I'm sure CJ doesn't either. But I know that hearing it from me... I mean I can only come at it from this side of the situation, you know? But I thought maybe you could help him out from his side of the situation.

[Sigh] Have I told you recently that I love you? I'm so glad you're my boyfriend.

And, hey, I don't think I've ever actually said this before, so... I'm really grateful that you trust me, and that you risk being vulnerable with me. I know it's hard, and your anxiety is like, always telling you to keep me out, you know? And I'm just... I'm so happy, and so grateful that you push through that. You mean so much to me, and... I just... I love you. I love you so much. Anxiety and all.

[Pickup]

[Beep]

RICARDO: Hey Jason, it's Ricardo. Again. I... I hope you don't mind me filling up your voicemail inbox again. I figured... it kind of helped, last time, to talk this way, so... maybe it will this time, too.

I'm still feeling unsure about CJ. I know we already talked about this, but... I don't know. I'm still struggling with it.

I feel like I'm barely holding myself together at any given point. How is it fair to ask anyone else to get entangled this mess called Ricardo?

How can I even think about dating, when going outside at all makes me feel stressed and jittery? That's not going to make for a very good date, if I'm sitting across a table from them and I keep tensing up every time a server comes to take my order. Or what we're walking somewhere, and I hear some people yelling, and I freak out? How are they supposed to put up with that?

I don't know, Jason. I can't expect them to put up with my bullshit, can I? [SIGHS] I don't know why I'm asking that, considering you already made your position on that extremely clear. And I don't mean to make it sound like you and Kane don't exist.

I know, intellectually, that you're right, and people can have patience, and people can go slowly and be okay with it... I mean... like I said, I don't mean to make it sound like you and Kane don't handle this sort of thing. But not everyone is like you two.

I can barely put up with me, right now. How can I expect anyone else to?

[Sigh] Well. This didn't help me feel clearer or more sure about this sort of thing. But it is still nice to scream into the void, as it were.

Thanks for listening, Jason. And ah... sorry for calling you a void. You're much warmer and brighter than that.

[Pickup]

[Beep]

RICARDO: [Firmly but nervously] You know what? You're right. I like them too, and... I don't know if I'm going to get any better, so... I shouldn't put off waiting for something I don't know will happen.

I... yeah. I'm going to try. And I'm... leaving this voicemail for you instead of them, because I'm... look, bravery has to come in little steps, right? I'll... I'll send them a text tomorrow.

[Sigh] No, no. I should send it now, before I go to sleep. Otherwise I might chicken out.

Yeah. Okay. I'll text them now. Wish me luck!

[Hangup]

[Music]

ROSLYN: Love and Luck is written by Erin Kyan, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions.

Ricardo is voiced by Justin Jones Li. Jason is voiced by Erin Kyan. Victor is voiced by DL Turnbull. CJ is voiced by Jai Moore. Credits spoken by Roslyn Quin. Recorded by Kermie Breydon and Eris Barnes.

Thank you to William Davies for supporting this episode.

If you're enjoying Love and Luck, consider backing us on Patreon. We do our best not only to make a high quality show for you, but to pay everyone involved in its creation. Your monthly donation will be directly supporting queer art by queer people. Pledge now at patreon.com/passervulpes - that's patreon.com/ P A S S E R V U L P E S.

For more information about Love and Luck, check out our website, loveandluckpodcast.com. You can also find us on facebook as Love and Luck Podcast, on twitter as @LoveLuckPodcast, and on tumblr and instagram as loveandluckpodcast, all one word.

[Music fades out]

The Amelia Project: Percy, Part 2

The Amelia Project is a comedy audio drama podcast by Imploding Fictions (NO/FR) produced in association with Open House Theatre (AT). Passer Vulpes Productions collaborated on Percy, Part 2. All copyrights per their respective owners, reproduced with permission from Imploding Fictions

PIP: Hello, I'm Pip!

OYSTEIN: And I'm Oystein,

PIP: And we're back! With this World Audio Drama Day Special of The Amelia Project.

OYSTEIN: Happy World Audio Drama Day, everyone! Hope you're spending it bingeing lots of great podcasts!

PIP: One quick note before you start this episode, It's not a normal episode of the Amelia Project. It's a continuation of Episode Nine, "Percy", so if you haven't listened to that episode, or if it's been a while and you don't remember it so well, we suggest you listen to Episode Nine, "Percy", first before you start this one.

OYSTEIN: Right, it's time to pour yourself a large mug of cocoa, sit back, and enjoy!

[BACKGROUND FX: The hustle and bustle of thousands of people. Trains whistling, ships honking, buses parked with their engines on, planes taking off. It's like a train station/dock/airport/ bus station all in one. There are also weird noises like trumpeting elephants marching by, the growls of scary predators, fluttering of wings and the tingling sound we've come to associate with magic wands. The footsteps of creatures of all shapes and sizes. a tannoy system shouts constant messages.]

TANNOY VOICE: We need broken limbs at gate thirteen. Anybody with broken limbs, please hobble along to gate thirteen for a plane crash with survivors. First come first served.

[FX: A whoosh and a pop, as Percy and the Interviewer land in Grand Character Central.]

PERCY: Wow! What just happened?

INTERVIEWER: Congratulations Percy, you are now officially out of that pretentious podcast The Amelia Project.

TANNOY VOICE: Astronauts to the launch site for a one way expedition to Mars!

PERCY: This is amazing!

INTERVIEWER: I know!

PERCY: Is that a -

INTERVIEWER: Zombie? Yes, I think so.

PERCY: And over there!

INTERVIEWER: Behind the aliens? Looks like Huguenots.

PERCY: And that's a Jedi! A real Jedi! Just sitting there on a bench, oh next to the grandma with a bazooka. I love it! You've found the perfect place for me!

INTERVIEWER: Oh! no, no, no, no, no. You can't stay here.

PERCY: Why not? This place is perfect! It's clearly been created by someone with an extreme imagination! In a place like this... I could be anyone!

INTERVIEWER: Sorry, but we're not in a new writer's imagination yet.

PERCY: We're not?

INTERVIEWER: No.

PERCY: Oh. Well then... what is this place?

TANNOY VOICE: Pirates needed at landing stage seven for a mutiny aboard the Jolly Rodger.

INTERVIEWER: This, Percy, is where ideas come from. Character ideas, more specifically.

PERCY: What??

INTERVIEWER: Welcome to Grand Character Central! Nearly all characters travel via this place on their way to whatever story they are about to appear in.

PERCY: That would mean I've been here before... But I don't remember it. How could I forget a place like this?

INTERVIEWER: Ah yes, I said "nearly all". You're so, ahem, underdeveloped, you probably came from somewhere else.

PERCY: Where? Where did I come from?

INTERVIEWER: Some characters are discovered among the dregs in Rum Reservoir.

PERCY: [Disgusted sigh] You're saying I'm just a drunken idea?

[FX: The Amelia Project pips start]

INTERVIEWER: Well yes, but never mind that now! A new life awaits! You're at Grand Character Central! From here, you can travel anywhere! Into the mind of any writer you can imagine!

PERCY: H.P. Lovecraft?

INTERVIEWER: No, Alive, they have to be alive.

TANNOY VOICE: All fireworms to meeting point D, there's an urgent need for a fireworm attack in the new George R.R. Martin novel.

INTERVIEWER: Percy, are you ready?

PERCY: Wait, where are you sending me?! Where are we going?

[MUSIC: The Amelia theme kicks in. A burst of static and the theme starts disintegrating.]

OYSTEIN: What?! What's going on? Oystein?

PIP: I don't know! I don't know what's happening!

[MUSIC: The theme is ambushed by the Victoriocity theme which drowns Pip and Oystein out.]

INTRO VOICE: Victoriocity, by Chris and Jen Sugden.

[MUSIC: The Victoriocity theme continues]

[BACKGROUND FX: Police station ambience, phones ringing, general hubbub]

[FX: Intercom click]

KELLER: [Shouting] Miss Wolferton!

[FX: Door opens. Noise of police station leaks in.]

MISS WOLFERTON: Chief Inspector, you buzzed. And shouted.

KELLER: Yes. What now, Miss Wolferton?

MISS WOLFERTON: You called me.

KELLER: I meant "What now?" As in, "We've been at this from 7 in the morning until 9 at night for a week. How many more are there?"

MISS WOLFERTON: Detectives?

KELLER: They're not detectives until I damned well say so.

MISS WOLFERTON: Prospective detectives. Prospectives.

KELLER: I hate this.

MISS WOLFERTON: I know, but you need to hire some of them.

KELLER: What possible reason would make me do that?

MISS WOLFERTON: They can help solve some of the many, many, many crimes?

KELLER: Not that many! You make it sound as though there are too many.

MISS WOLFERTON: There are too many. Have you seen the board?

KELLER: I thought the board fell down.

MISS WOLFERTON: It did. Under the weight of the–

KELLER: Crimes, yes. Look, Miss Wolferton–

MISS WOLFERTON: There's only one left. He only appeared a moment ago. What was your name?

PERCY: [off] Oh! Um, Percy.

MISS WOLFERTON: A Constable Percy.

PERCY: [off] No, not constable, I'm just–

KELLER: Send him in!

MISS WOLFERTON: [off] Right this way.

[FX: Footsteps. Door closes.]

KELLER: Hmm...

PERCY: Hello, I'm very sorry, but–

KELLER: Not yet you're not. Let's take a look at your examination. Perry, was it?

PERCY: Percy.

KELLER: Keller.

PERCY: No, Percy.

KELLER: I'm Keller, you halfwit. Detective Chief Inspector.

PERCY: Right.

KELLER: Examination?

PERCY: No, I'm alright thanks.

KELLER: Where is your detective examination?

PERCY: I don't have one.

KELLER: It's not looking good, Petri.

PERCY: It's Percy, and–

KELLER: Date of birth.

PERCY: May 10th, nineteen eighty-

KELLER: Nineteen? What the blazes are you talking about man?

PERCY: Look, there's been a misunderstanding.

KELLER: At last we are on the same page, Peatley!

PERCY: It's Percy, and I–-

KELLER: Consider this, Perty.

PERCY: It's Percy.

KELLER: Perty, you've been called to a residence where a man lies slain in his own bathtub.

PERCY: Good god!

KELLER: Quite. The wife is hysterical. The housekeeper is hysterical. The children are, mercifully, at boarding school. Walk me through the solution.

PERCY: Well, I'd phone the police immediately!

[Pause]

KELLER: Care to try that again?

PERCY: Oh. I am the police.

KELLER: We'll see how it goes, but for this scenario, assume you are indeed still the police.

PERCY: Well, I would interrogate the wife.

KELLER: What makes you so sure it was the wife?

PERCY: Isn't it often the spouse in this sort of thing?

KELLER: What sort of thing is that?

PERCY: Murder?

KELLER: Yes, and how many murder cases have you been on?

PERCY: None.

KELLER: So your intuition is guided by...

PERCY: Books?

KELLER: And while you are reading your books...

PERCY: I'm learning about solving crimes?

KELLER: While you are reading your books, the dead man's valet, who you did not notice had beads of sweat on his brow from the exertion of murdering his employer, is making a break for it!

PERCY: Did you say there was a valet?

KELLER: Did you say you were a simpleton!

PERCY: Now look here!

[FX: Intercom click]

MISS WOLFERTON: [Through intercom] Yes?

KELLER: Miss Wolferton, kindly open the door. Mr Portly will be traveling through it at high speed shortly.

PERCY: It's Percy. Wait, what?

KELLER: This is how you solve crimes? Fanciful fiction? [FX: Door opens] Find any poor woman who fits the bill and send them to the hangman's noose? You make me sick. Get out of my sight!

[FX: Footsteps as percy hurries out of the door. Door slams. Louder police station ambience.

MISS WOLFERTON: Thank you for coming to see us, Constable Percy. We'll be in touch.

INTERVIEWER: How did it go?

PERCY: This isn't the right place for me!

INTERVIEWER: It's a very popular podcast. It's a neo Victorian detective comedy and they're looking for a new character! I mean Percy, you could be the star detective in their second season!

PERCY: A podcast? I said I didn't want to be in another podcast!

INTERVIEWER: [Groan] Where would you like to go?

PERCY: I don't know! Just get me out of here! Quick!

[FX: Whoosh, then a pop]

[FX: Pickup sound]

[FX: Beep]

PERCY: Hi... Eh - Jason? Or, Kane? Apparently I've reached a bar or something... and there was this Australian voice saying that Jason and Kane live above the... bar? I'm a bit confused... I came here with a... a guide... and I can't see him anywhere and I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing... Er, I'm in a phone booth. I might be standing right across the street from your bar, actually? The Best of Luck Bar? It looks closed... Well, it seems to be the wee hours of the morning, so- Oh lord, there's a koala! I'm definitely in Australia then. Eh... when you hear this, if an Englishman arrives in a pin striped suit, would you just tell him to call me back? I think I'm just going to stay here for now. That's probably for the best. Er, Thank you.

[FX: Dial tone]

[FX: Pickup sound]

INTRO: You've reached the Love and Luck Podcast.

[MUSIC: Love and Luck podcast theme]

[FX: Pickup sound]

[FX: Beep]

INTERVIEWER: Percy, I've brought you to a wonderful place called Love and Luck. Yes, it's another podcast, but it's great! It's about these two gay men who open up a bar. And they can do magic! It's probably one of the most inclusive and heartwarming podcasts around! I think you'll be very happy here.

[FX: Hangup sound]

[FX: Beep]

PERCY: I'm not leaving this phone booth. So far I've seen one kangaroo, two dingos and a lizard with a blue tongue! Why did you bring me here? Why are we only communicating through voice mail? What is going on?

[FX: Hangup sound]

[FX: Beep]

INTERVIEWER: The whole show is told through voice mails! It's super clever right?

[FX: Hangup sound]

[FX: Beep]

PERCY: I can only speak through voice mails? For the rest of my life? Are you kidding me? I wanted to be a fully fledged character, not just a voice saying "Hi there, it's me, call me back!"

[FX: Hangup sound]

[FX: Beep]

INTERVIEWER: It's really not like that. You can say anything via a voice mail. Declare your love! Come out to your dad! Argue! Make up! Just try it out!

[FX: Hangup sound]

[FX: Beep]

PERCY: [High pitched scream] There's a spider inside the phone booth! It's right next to the door, I can't get out! Help me! Get me out of here! Please! Help--

[FX: Hangup sound]

[FX: Beep]

INTERVIEWER: [Exasperated sigh] Fine.

[FX: Hangup sound]

[FX: Beep]

JASON: Hey, Kane, ah... there was a really weird message on the bar's voicemail that I just noticed, did you catch it? From this English person? He sounded really confused, he said he was in the phone booth on the other side of the road, but... [chuckle] I mean, that hasn't been a phone booth for years, right? It's just a wifi hotspot now. I don't know. Did you see anyone new come in today? Maybe with a British accent? I'd like to help this guy, if we can figure out where he is.

[FX: Hangup sound]

[FX: Beep]

KANE: Hey Jason. No, I didn't meet anyone new yesterday from England. If this guy does show up and he really does need our help, obviously we'll definitely be there for him. But... it might've just been a prank, you know? I mean... he was talking about koalas and kangaroos and stuff, and the last time I checked, the only place to find those in the inner city is at the zoo. So don't worry too much, okay? I love the fact that your instinct is to help people, though.

Oh, and... I don't want to worry you, but when I came downstairs this morning, there was a dirty mug on the counter in the kitchen. And it wasn't left there by one of our boarders. It looks like someone else has been in the bar during the night. Now, don't worry - I checked, and nothing has been stolen, and all the doors were locked. Whoever it was seems to have just... appeared and disappeared. All they did was drink a cup of cocoa and break a saucer.

[FX: Hangup sound]

[FX: Beep]

JASON: Hey, maybe he thought a possum was a koala. I mean, they're both cute grey furry marsupials that make the most god awful noises when they have sex. Easy mistake to make? Oh and, Kane... Why would you say "cocoa"? It's called "hot chocolate" isn't it?

[FX: Hangup sound]

PIP: They've disappeared!

OYSTEIN: What?

PIP: From the script! Percy and the Interviewer have disappeared right out of this document! God knows where they are!

OYSTEIN: Percy wanted a new writer!

PIP: You think he's in another audio drama?

OYSTEIN: It would be disrespectful.

PIP: Like they're cheating on us!

OYSTEIN: We have to get them back before they start making a fool of us in other podcasts!

[FX: Whoosh, then a pop]

[FX: A big splash, with some big bubbles blooping up. Sounds of thrashing in the water]

PERCY: Blergh! Phey!

INTERVIEWER: Argh ! Ptew!

PERCY: What the...? Where are we? Where are we, It stinks!

INTERVIEWER: I'm not entirely sure. [Retching] From our immediate surroundings, I deduce that we are -

PERCY: We're in a bog! A stinky, smelly bog!

MAGNUS: [Humming an angry melody, more hissed through his teeth than actually hummed.]

PERCY: Quiet! Someone's coming!

MAGNUS: Du-du-du-du-I-hate-my-job... [mimics Alba's voice] "Chores build character"... "You have to earn your keep..." Sure, but what about Holly? Why can't she empty the... Hngh! [strains as he lifts the heavy chamber pot] ...bedpans sometimes! Hngh!

[FX: Sound of a massive piss pot right on percy and the interviewer's head. More sputtering and spitting.]

PERCY: Argh ! Blurgh.

INTERVIEWER: Ptew. Prfff.

MAGNUS: Whoa! Swamp people!

INTERVIEWER: Swamp People? No we're not!

MAGNUS: What the heck are you doing in the leech pond?

PERCY: I think the more important question is why are you emptying a piss pot on our heads?!

MAGNUS: Because it's... closer than the river, that's why! [Lowers his voice] Uh, listen... don't tell my boss, okay?

INTERVIEWER: Could you please tell me where it is we have landed?

MAGNUS: Uh... in the pond. Behind the House of Healing. Do you have an appointment?

HERALD: [Clears Throat] By appointment to the King and Queen: Alba Salix, Royal Physician!

[MUSIC: Opening theme of Alba Salix]

[BACKGROUND FX: Outside forest sounds]

INTERVIEWER: House of Healing? Are we in a hospital?

PERCY: Have you just emptied the piss of sick people on my head?

MAGNUS: Well... No. Not just people. There's some ogre and goblin in there... oh, and centaur!

PERCY: Agh ! Ugh! Agh !

MAGNUS: Sorry, sorry. I know they're all "people". Non-human people. Whatever.

PERCY: I need to get out of this bog. Now!

MAGNUS: Technically, it's a pond...

PERCY: Help me then, come on! I'm stuck.

MAGNUS: You gotta be kidding. All right. Here.

[FX: Magnus heaves, and a squishy, sucky sound, as the bog gives.]

MAGNUS: Come on, you too.

[FX: Magnus heaves again, and a squishy, sucky sound, as the bog gives.]

INTERVIEWER: Thank you. Ogres and goblins, you said? What sort of place have we landed in?

MAGNUS: Landed?

INTERVIEWER: What's this place called?

MAGNUS: It's Grandville. Capital of Farloria? Wow, you guys must be a long way off course.

INTERVIEWER: You could say that.

PERCY: A shower! Is there a shower anywhere? I need a shower!

MAGNUS: A what?

PERCY: Oh! There's a river! [Runs off laughing maniacally]

MAGNUS: No! Dude, the river is... [FX: A big splash] [Sigh] The river is where pretty much the whole town dumps their sewage.

PERCY: [From far off] What? This water is... algrhgrh!

[FX: In the background Percy is splashing about in the water trying to swim ashore as quickly as possible.]

PERCY: Argh ! Ugh! Ah, it went in my mouth!

MAGNUS: Oh boy. So... you said you "landed". Did you fly here? You don't have wings...

INTERVIEWER: There are many ways of flying.

MAGNUS: So that mean... Oooooh! Are you a wizard?

INTERVIEWER: [Laughs] Well I don't like to boast but...

MAGNUS: Do you, like, throw fireballs? Or summon demons?

INTERVIEWER: [Almost bursting with happiness] I make people disappear.

MAGNUS: Like... a magical assassin?

INTERVIEWER: No! No no no no no! I help people to fake their own deaths and vanish without a trace.

MAGNUS: No way! That's your job?

INTERVIEWER: Oh yes. Right now, I'm trying to find a new home for Percy over there. He's being very difficult about it.

MAGNUS: Maybe you could help me out? 'Cause my job here is the worst. I work for this witch who treats me like a slave, and I'm not allowed to leave because I'm doing community service...

INTERVIEWER: Is that Grandville over there? I'd love a little stroll around. Could you recommend a nice place for refreshments?

MAGNUS: Yeah! We should totally go for a drink and discuss this disappearing thing. There's a place across the river called the Axe and Crown. It's pretty cheap, and they won't mind too much if you're covered in... you know.

INTERVIEWER: Do they have cocoa?

MAGNUS: Ahh... Yeah, it's called cocoa, though I don't think there's any actual chocolate in it.

[FX: Percy is out of the water and approaching.]

PERCY: [Off] Hrm. Listen...

INTERVIEWER: Apparently there's a pub we should try, it's called -

PERCY: We're off.

INTERVIEWER: But Percy! This seems to be a magical land! It could be very exciting!

PERCY: Off. Now.

INTERVIEWER: I'm sorry, but it seems we have to leave. It's been a pleasure.

[FX: Whoosh and a pop]

MAGNUS: Wait! Wait! You guys! Come back! I want to disappear too! Guys...? Wizardly guys? Dangit.

OYSTEIN: I've been binging on audio dramas trying to find them...

PIP: Any leads?

OYSTEIN: [Quite fast] I searched every inch of Night Vale, then, on my way to Desert Bluffs, I took a quick detour through Uncanny County where sheriff Rowland told me to check out Limetown, but there was no-one there. I don't know where to look next.

PIP: Percy's been nothing but trouble. We should never have written him.

OYSTEIN: Once we get him back into the script, let's delete him!

PIP: Good idea. But we have to catch him first!

PERCY: A goat needs about two to four pounds of hay per day. Does that make every day a goat's heyday? It's Goat in - [Bleats loudly] Maaahhhhh ! What the...?!

[MUSIC: Girl In Space theme tune]

[FX: The click of a tape recorder interrupts the theme]

[BACKGROUND FX: Space station hum]

X: Here.

PERCY: Mahhh !

X: Chew on this.

[FX: Percy munches hay]

X: There you go. Chew on that hay whilst I... attach this little gadget here... behind your ear... and in a moment you should be able to... speak you mind... So, hi there, dear listener, it's me again. It's day 9 mark 304, hour zero four thirty one. I'm conducting a little experiment today on one of my closest friends. Are you as excited as I am to see if this works? In a second now I will be turning this machine on for the very first time...

[FX: Turning of a knob]

X: There.

PERCY: Mahhh - ah... ahh? Awh. Oh. Eh...? Hay?

X: Hey!

PERCY: Hay?

X: Hey there Daisy!

PERCY: Hay?

X: Hey!

PERCY: Hay?

X: Yes, hey.

PERCY: HAAAY!

X: Uh, Yes. Hey.

PERCY: HAAAAY! HAAAAY!

X: I think that's enough greetings for now, perhaps we should find another subject to talk about?

PERCY: HAY!! Mahhh! Mahhh!!

X: Oh, perhaps you're saying... hay? Well, I guess it's not that surprising that "hay" would be your first word. After all most of your life has been spent chewing. And you've got a lot of milk to produce, so that I can make some delicious Feta cheese... Here you go. Munch on this.

[FX: Percy munches more hay]

X: So, Daisy, tell me: How is life with wool and hoofs? Are you generally excited about what life has to offer? Do you ever have nightmares about being fed to a T-Rex, or are you perhaps looking to expand your horizon, travel, see the world...

PERCY: Where...?

X: Oh! Another word! We're making progress! "Where"? Well, you're on the space station Cavatica, more specifically in the Glasshouse pod.

PERCY: What...? Who...? How...?

X: You know, Daisy, I ask myself exactly those questions nearly every day.

PERCY: Mahhh! Mahhh!

X: Why are you still bleating? Hm. The speech translator can't be working exactly as I planned. I'm just going to adjust this... Oh, I left the flathead in the other room. Just a moment, Daisy, I'll be right back.

[FX: X walks off, leaving her tape recorder behind.]

[FX: Girl in Space scene change wail]

PERCY: What the... I have hooves! What is this?! Who am I? Where am I?!

[FX: A whirring sound as an AI enters on a mechanical arm.]

INTERVIEWER: [Speaking like Charlotte the AI from Girl in Space] Hi there - [FX: AI thinking ticking] Percy! How are you doing?

PERCY: Wait... it's you? You're a robot -

INTERVIEWER: I'm an - [FX: AI thinking ticking] AI!

PERCY: We're on a space station! I said somewhere on Earth didn't I? I don't like Sci Fi!

INTERVIEWER: This isn't just any Sci Fi! You're starring in a spin off series to one of the best sci-fi pod- um, dramas out there. The spin off is called [FX: AI thinking ticking] Goat in Space! It's set before the beginning of [FX: AI thinking ticking] Girl in Space.

PERCY: Starring? I'm starring?

INTERVIEWER: A star - in space! Ha ha.

PERCY: Starring as who?

INTERVIEWER: The main character. Daisy, everybody's favorite talking goat!

PERCY: [Pause] I'm a goat?

INTERVIEWER: A talking goat.

PERCY: I am... a goat?!

INTERVIEWER: Yes! In space! [FX: AI thinking ticking] Space adventures! Exploring the universe. Meeting aliens! It's dramatic, action packed, melancholy, funny...

PERCY: I don't want to be a goat!

INTERVIEWER: Aural receptors malfunctioning.

PERCY: What?

INTERVIEWER: Aural receptors malfunctioning.

PERCY: Are you kidding me?

INTERVIEWER: And look at the view!

PERCY: I am looking, and it's terrifying! It's just... It's just black!

INTERVIEWER: There's Ra! It's spectacular.

PERCY: Listen. I want to feel the ground under my hooves - feet! Feet! I want feet again! This is not what I signed up for. Now please get us out of here!

INTERVIEWER: [Back to normal voice] Argh. Fine. No one is going to listen to this show anyway, if you stick with that attitude. So much for everyone's favorite goat...

[BACKGROUND FX fades out]

OYSTEIN: How are you doing Pip? Any luck yet?

PIP: I spent hours hanging around in Dr. Bright's waiting room. In the end I got fed up and went to Piffling. Thought I might find them at Agatha Doyle's Broken Tooth, but no luck. I picked up some Memento Mori chocolates though.

OYSTEIN: [Pause] Wait a minute. Chocolate!

PIP: What?

OYSTEIN: That's how we get them back! We lure the Interviewer back by namedropping some really decadent chocolate!

PIP: You think that will work?

OYSTEIN: If we make it irresistible enough!

PIP: Can I use the word "ambrosial?" I've always wanted to use the word "ambrosial."

OYSTEIN: Sure.

[FX: Sound of typing]

PIP: "The cocoa was thick and velvety, its ambrosial scent an overture to the celestial symphony of sweet bliss waiting to... enrapture the taste buds. This cocoa, was the result of the combined wisdom of the most prestigious chocolatiers of Paris, Bruges, Basel and Vienna. It-

[FX: Whoosh and a pop in background]

OYSTEIN: I think I just heard something! [FX: Doorbell rings] Oh my god! I think it's them!

PIP: I'll go get the door. [off] Hello.

INTERVIEWER: [off] Hello!

PERCY: [off] Where are we?

INTERVIEWER: [off] It's Paris.

PERCY: [off] This is Paris?

INTERVIEWER: [off] Well it's the suburbs.

PIP: [off] Welcome!

PERCY: [off] And who's he? He doesn't look trustworthy. I dislike this genre already.

INTERVIEWER: [Coming into the room] Is that the ambrosial scent of cocoa hitting my nostrils?

OYSTEIN: It sure is! We've just made a pot. Would you like some?

INTERVIEWER: I never say no to a good cup of the old choccy choc choc.

PERCY: There must be better places to go, surely!

OYSTEIN: Here we go I've set out two cups right over there by the laptop...

INTERVIEWER: Come on Percy just one cup and then we can go wherever you-

OYSTEIN: Got you!

INTERVIEWER: What do you mean, got you?

[Oystein laughs]

PIP: You're back in our script!

PERCY: What?! What's happening?!

INTERVIEWER: Don't stress Percy. Relax. Would you like some cocoa?

PERCY: Yes, with three spoonfuls of sugar please. Actually, make that four.

PIP: One... two... three... four. There you go! You better enjoy, because I'm about to delete you.

PERCY: No! You can't do that! Not after all I've been through! Get me out of here!

INTERVIEWER: [Sound of interviewer gorging himself on cocoa]

PERCY: Hey! Hey! Are you listening to me?

INTERVIEWER: Good lord! This is the best written cocoa I've ever had!

PIP: And.... [FX: Hits delete key] That's the end of that.

INTERVIEWER: Oh good. It was getting exhausting. He was never satisfied!

PIP: Now we can get this podcast back on track and focus on normal episodes.

INTERVIEWER: Not too normal though! Normality is so boooooring!

PERCY: [MUFFLED] Hey! Hey! Hey! Get me out of here!

PIP: Oh, I better empty the trash. [FX: KEYSTROKE, FOLLOWED BY CRINKLING PAPER SOUND] There we go. That should do it.

OYSTEIN: Now you better get back to the office. Alvina is waiting for you.

INTERVIEWER: Can I take some of that...

PIP: Take the whole pot.

INTERVIEWER: Oooooh thank you! Well, Toodle-oo!

[FX: Whoosh and a pop]

ALVINA: Ah!

INTERVIEWER: Ah!

ALVINA: Gosh! Don't just jump out at me like that!

INTERVIEWER: Sorry!

ALVINA: There's a door, next time, knock!

INTERVIEWER: [Relieved sigh]. Ooh! What are you eating?

ALVINA: Scones.

INTERVIEWER: May I have one--

ALVINA: [Indignant] No! [Pause] Scones are my cocoa! Where on earth have you been?

INTERVIEWER: [Sigh] It's a long story.

ALVINA: Well, as you say yourself, there's [Overlap with next line] always time for a story.

INTERVIEWER: [Overlap] always time for a story, you're absolutely right Alvina. [Pause] But first I want a scone.

ALVINA: Oh here you go.

INTERVIEWER: Oh goody! Now, are you sitting comfortably?

ALVINA: Um... yes.

[FX: The Amelia pips fade in]

INTERVIEWER: Good, because this is a tale of detectives and koalas and robots and magicians and murderous valets.

ALVINA: Good grief. All in one story? Sounds a bit... overblown?

[FX/MUSIC: The Amelia Pips pick up backing instrumentals, slowly becoming the start of the full Amelia Theme]

INTERVIEWER: It's a story about bogs and bazookas and bars and bedpans. It's a story about stars and spiders and space stations. It's a story about Norwegians and Australians and witches and goats and writers and Girls in Space. And most importantly, it's a story about... [MUSIC: Halts] cocoa.

[MUSIC: Amelia theme crashes in, a version with elements from the themes of Victoriocity, Alba Salix, Love and Luck, Girl In Space]

PIP: We hope you've enjoyed this World Audio Drama Day Special! This Episode is dedicated to the Audio Drama community, and featured some of our favourite shows, including Victoriocity, Alba Salix, Love and Luck, and Girl in Space. Check out these brilliant shows wherever you get your podcasts.

You can listen to a special extended version of this episode by becoming a Patron of the Amelia Project, and pledging just a few dollars per episode. Go to patreon.com/ameliapodcast, that's Patreon, P A T R E O N, dot com, slash amelia podcast, all one word, to make your pledge, support the show, and listen to an extended version of this episode, which sees Percy and the Interviewer end up in some other genres, such as medical drama, a fantasy movie, and more.

The Amelia Project is created by Phillip Thorne and Øystein Brager, and music and sound design by Fredrik Baden. This Episode featured Tom Middler as Percy, Alan Burgon as the Interviewer, Tanja Milojevic as the voice of Grand Character Central, Jen Sugden as Ms. Wolverton, Chris Sugden as Chief Inspector Keller, Julian Sark as Magnus, Erin Kyan as Jason, Lee Davis-Thalbourne as Kane, Sarah Werner as X, and Julia C Thorne as Alvina. The Victoriocity theme is composed by John Owen, The Alba Salix theme is composed by Eli McIlveen, and the Girl in Space theme is Sad Past by Silent Partner. Graphic Design by Anders Petersen, and a big thank you to Dominic Hargreaves and Gabriel Geber for recording assistance. You can find full credits on our website, and you can get in touch with us on twitter, where we are @amelia_podcast. Bye for now, and hope to welcome you back to Amelia soon.

[FX/MUSIC: Amelia pips continue to fade out after credits into Epilogue]

INTERVIEWER: Well, have you finished? What do you think?

ALVINA: Well, "Pip" sounds like a Dickens rip off and "Oystein"?

INTERVIEWER: Yes?

ALVINA: Well come on, that just sounds plain wrong.

INTERVIEWER: Well, I couldn't get those characters to work anyway. You know what? I think I'll just delete them.

ALVINA: Good idea.

[FX: Keystrokes]

INTERVIEWER: Maybe I'll try my hand at a novel next!

ALVINA: We're going through a dry period, I know. But I'm sure we'll have a new case for you to put your mind to soon. It's just a question of time.

INTERVIEWER: Or poetry, yes. You know what, Alvina? I should write poetry.

ALVINA: [Almost in panic] Or how about painting?

INTERVIEWER: Oh god no.

ALVINA: Cooking?

INTERVIEWER: Cooking? er...

ALVINA: Collecting stamps?

INTERVIEWER: I've collected all the stamps, Alvina, I'm so bored!

ALVINA: Taxidermy?

INTERVIEWER: [Mumbling] Well, I s'pose--

ALVINA: Sport?

INTERVIEWER: [Laughs] Sport?! [Pause] Oh good god, were you serious?

ALVINA: Uh...

[FX: Old fashioned phone rings]

ALVINA: Oh thank god.

[FX: The ringing fades into the distance]

Episode 54 - Victor and Michael's Housewarming

[Dial tone]

[Pickup]

ROSLYN: You've reached the Love and Luck Podcast.

[Music]

[Beep]

[Pickup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey babe, just a reminder that Josh and Hannah won't be around until eight tomorrow night, so don't do that thing where you get ready to go at like six o'clock and then just vibrate anxiously for two hours, okay? I will remind you of this again in person when I see you tomorrow.

Love you.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: I feel like I should be offended that you think I need reminding of how time works, but then I realized that if you left me to my own devices, I would 100% do exactly what you told me not to do. So... humph! How dare you know me so well!

Things are good downstairs today. Tom is excited for the housewarming party - apparently he doesn't get invited to many parties that, y'know, are actually wheelchair accessible. I mean, not that it sounds like Victor and Michael's new place is great for that, but it is at least all on one floor with only a tiny lip at the entrance to the building. So... near enough is good enough, at least when it comes to getting trashed with friends, anyway.

Speaking of which... I'm kind of excited. I literally do not remember the last time I got drunk. It was probably like... back in the first couple of months of dating you, I think? Which feels like FOREVER ago now.

And yes, before you come galloping downstairs and bellowing that I need to leave you a drunk voicemail tonight, yes, I promise I will. Or at least I promise I will try, because there is a good chance that I will forget.

I love you. See you when you get up!

[Hangup]

[Beep]

[SFX: House party background noise]

KANE: [Drunk] Okay! I said okay! I'm doing it!

JASON: [Drunk] Are you sure?? Did you dial the right contact??

KANE: YES! Look, it's your face! Your face is on the phone! [LAUGHS] I like your face!

JASON: I like YOUR face!

KANE: I like YOUR face!

JASON: I like YOU!

KANE: I like YOU!!! I LOVE you!

JASON: I love you too! Are you crying?

KANE: NO! My face is just wet because I love you!

JASON [Laughing] Aww, baby...

[Hangup]

[Beep]

[SFX: House party noise in background]

VICTOR: [Drunk] Hey future Jason! This is past Jason!

JASON: Hey! You're not past Jason! I am!

VICTOR: [Laughing]

[Hangup]

[Beep]

[SFX: Muffled house party noise in background]

KANE: [Quietly drunk] Hey... I'm hiding in the bathroom. Just for a few minutes. It's really, really loud out there, and apparently I am not used to being drunk in loud places any more. Or... being drunk at all any more, really...

I feel dizzy...

I kind of remember WHY I don't get drunk anymore... aside from the whole... never having alcohol near me... thing. It's kind of terrible! I feel like I'm too loud and too big and too clumsy!

[Whisper-ish] Oh, hey, do we know CJ? Everyone's acting like we know them but I don't recognize them at all, and I feel like a huge dickhead. Do we know them? Fuck.

[Deep breath] Anyway. You always leave me cute or funny drunk voicemails so... this is me trying, okay? I'm... uh... very drunk. [Laughs] Oh, shit... I have to get up early and work in the morning, too. Fuck.

Uhhh... I love you. And... apologies in advance if I throw up in our bed tonight. And... sorry this isn't a very good drunk voicemail. I love you.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: [Drunk, quiet] Hey my lightweight sweetheart. We got home a few minutes ago and you are OUT like a LIGHT. [Chuckles]

Thank you for your drunk voicemail. It was very coherent and super cute, just like you.

I hope you don't wake up with too much of a hangover tomorrow. But if you do... eat some food, drink some water, have a berocca and some panadol. Then like... I don't know, wait for me to get up so I can scoop out your hangover, okay?

Huh. Wow. It's been... a long time since hangover hoovering was part of our agenda, huh? And never in this direction! I'm normally the hungover one.

[Exhale] God. So much has changed since that first hangover scoop. You know... that's kind of cool. Like... we were just saying the other day how we feel like we don't know anything about our magic, but like... compared to when it first started happening? We kind of know a lot about it now. Not like... not like a lot in general. Just like... a lot compared to what we used to know.

Heh. We've come a long way I guess. Even if it doesn't feel like that, sometimes.

I'm starting to think that's what life is, though. Feeling like you're not getting anywhere, but then looking back and going "holy shit, I've come a long way".

I love you. You're so wonderful.

I'm gonna go to sleep now too, okay? I'll see you in hangover hell tomorrow.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: [Drunk] Oh, and by the way, yes, we do know CJ. We just used to know them as Cindy. You remember, the host of the radio show we went on back when we first opened the bar? Yeah! That's CJ. New name, new pronouns, same bubbly personality. Love you!

[Hangup]

[Beep]

VICTOR: [Tired, drunk] Hey Jason, it's Victor. Thanks for coming tonight. I know you guys had to find some other people to handle the bar, and I can't imagine that was easy on Papa Bear's nerves.

I hope you got him home and safely into bed okay. He did NOT look like he was feeling super great when you left. I'm guessing he's not great at holding his liquor much these days.

[Yawn] Pretty much everyone has left, except for Ricardo and CJ. They're crashing on our floor tonight, I think.

I really like this apartment. It feels good.

Michael was saying he wants to get some plants. Um, Not just for the balcony but like, inside as well. I like plants, I think. I've never really had plants. But they're nice, right?

I warned him I've never had plants before, so he'll have to show me how to not kill them, and he said that was fine and he'd teach me. So I'm gonna learn about gardening! So yeah. That's a new adventure. [Yawn]

I'm gonna pass out now. Thanks for being my friend, Jason. And thank Kane again for me, for helping with the application, yeah? I don't know if I'd be here right now if he hadn't helped. He's a really good guy. You both are.

[Hangup]

[Music]

ROSLYN: Love and Luck is written by Erin Kyan, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions.

Kane is voiced by Lee Davis-Thalbourne. Jason is voiced by Erin Kyan. Victor is voiced by DL Turnbull. Credits spoken by Roslyn Quin. Recorded by Kermie Breydon and Eris Barnes.

Thank you to Charlie Lang for supporting this episode.

If you're enjoying Love and Luck, consider backing us on Patreon. We do our best not only to make a high quality show for you, but to pay everyone involved in its creation. Your monthly donation will be directly supporting queer art by queer people. Pledge now at patreon.com/passervulpes - that's patreon.com/ P A S S E R V U L P E S.

For more information about Love and Luck, check out our website, loveandluckpodcast.com. You can also find us on facebook as Love and Luck Podcast, on twitter as @LoveLuckPodcast, and on tumblr and instagram as loveandluckpodcast, all one word.

Episode 53 - The Aftermath

[Dial tone]

[Pickup]

ROSLYN: You've reached the Love and Luck Podcast.

[Music]

[Beep]

[Pickup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey babe. Just closed up. God, it was busy tonight. Couple of big groups came in not long after you went to bed, which kept me pretty damn occupied till closing.

Between helping the boys move today and Victor not being here to absorb some of the work tonight, I am completely knackered.

[Sigh] Looking forward to cuddling up to you in a few minutes. Love you.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey, so. When you wake up and check your phone, you will no doubt have received the invitation to Victor and Michael's housewarming party. Now, normally if we want to go to a party, we have Victor or Michael to look after the bar while we do that. Or Helen, in a pinch. But in this case, that's not really possible, since, you know... they'll both be there with us.

I'd really like to go, and I KNOW Victor and Michael would love to see us there, so... let me know if you have any good ideas on how the heck we can work around this? I'd really rather avoid closing up the bar for a night if we can avoid it, especially on a Saturday night, but... I'm fresh out of ideas.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey babe, hope you're sleeping well. So, I called around a few of my mates like I said I would, and I've found a couple of people that I trust to watch the bar for us on Saturday. Their names are Josh and Hannah.

They're going to come around tomorrow so you can meet them and get a feel for them, because I KNOW you'll feel better about the whole idea if you get to suss them out in person before they're responsible for all our shit for a night.

And if you don't feel comfortable with them, then I'll try and find someone else, okay? So don't let your anxiety tell you that it's either be okay with these specific people or not going to the party at all. That's not the case. That's a false dichotomy. Or whatever. Did I use that phrase right?

ANYWAY. We've still got a couple of days to figure it out, so don't stress out too much. I mean, worst case scenario, I can try throwing around some luck magic and see if we can find a solution that way.

I love you, and we're going to have a great time at Victor and Michael's party. I promise.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: [Sleepy] Hey. Just wanted to leave you a [Yawn] bedtime voicemail.

Thank you for getting Josh and Hannah to come meet me today. You're right, I feel a lot better about the whole idea having actually met them.

I still... I still feel weird about it. It'll be the first time the people behind the bar aren't like... us, or our people, you know? But I guess... there was a first time for when Victor was alone with the bar, and a first time for Helen, too, so... yeah.

I don't know why I'm struggling so much with tiny changes lately. First the idea of Michael moving out freaked me out, and then I got upset in the supermarket the other day when they didn't have my usual muesli, and now the idea of having someone different look after the bar while we're gone is freaking me out.

I don't know why I'm like this. [Chuckle] Well, I mean, I know I'm an anxious mess. But I don't know why I'm being more of an anxious mess than usual lately.

[Yawns] I love you. Thank you for dealing with this anxious mess.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Kane. Babe. Honey. Sweetie.

Please tell me you're joking about not knowing why you're an extra anxious mess lately.

Like... c'mon now. Do I need to spell it out? You're still struggling with everything that happened. With the bigots, with the vandalism, with the hate crimes, and how it ended... it doesn't matter that you don't regret it, or that it's over, or any of that. It's still left an impression.

I mean, even you said that you feel sick when you try and use magic now, because it reminds you of what you did.

Horrible things happened to people we care about, and you did something that was really upsetting for you to do, and you're hurting over it. That's like... really, truly, very understandable.

Of course you're anxious. You're still dealing with everything that happened.

We all are. Just because it's over, doesn't mean it's over, you know? There's still a lot of dust that hasn't settled yet. I don't think this kind of thing ever just... heals over immediately. It kind of scabs up first, you know? And then, if we're lucky, the scar will be small, and not really noticeable. But... when the wound is as big as this one? Scarring might be inevitable.

I mean... I know even I'm... different, now. I'm jumpier. Angrier. Not like... not like angry-angry. Just like... I don't know. Like I'm simmering. Like it takes less, now, to set me off. Like I'm more willing to get angry, more willing to jump to conclusions. If I get even a hint of anything that feels threatening now, it's like... I feel like a bloody frill neck lizard. Just... puff myself up and start running straight at people.

I don't, obviously. Mostly because... there haven't been any threats, not real ones. But I still feel it. Every time I hear Ricardo have a nightmare, my chest gets tight and my skin gets hot and it's like... my body is getting ready to fight.

Wait, is this what anxiety feels like? Because like... if so, this is bullshit, and I don't know how you manage to be so well put together with this as a big part of your life. Holy shit. You're even stronger than I thought you were. You're some kind of goddamn superman.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: [Amused] Yeah, honey. That's... that's one of the ways anxiety can feel.

And... yeah. It's bullshit.

[Sigh] You're right. We're all healing. Or... trying to, anyway. Doing the best that we can. Putting the ointment on the scar, I guess.

What does healing even look like after something like this? I don't think I even know. Will we ever get back to the way we were beforehand, or... do we need to just get used to being something new?

I don't know. I guess we have to just... try and figure it out, ourselves.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

MICHAEL: Hi, Kane, Jason... it's Michael.

I was chatting with Victor about when he moved out of the bar, and he said he left you both some long rambling voice messages, and well... I know you both love your voicemails very much so... I thought I'd follow the tradition. I... felt a little bit too strange about leaving separate ones for each of you, so... that's why I'm just leaving this at the bar's phone.

So here, I am. Fully unpack, in my new home. Somewhere a bit quieter, but still with a friend I love, and room to paint. There aren't as many magpies here as there were at the Best of Luck, but on the bright side, I think we have a pair of rainbow lorikeets nesting in a tree outside of building.

I wanted to say thank you. For letting me stay with you, obviously, but... for more than that. Thank you for encouraging me to keep painting. Thank you for your delicious breakfasts and evening card games. Thank you for the bandages, both on my body and in my heart.

You are both very dear to me, and while I could've done without the circumstances that brought me to you... nonetheless, I'm glad to call you my friends.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

ROSLYN: Love and Luck is written by Erin Kyan, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions.

Kane is voiced by Lee Davis-Thalbourne. Jason is voiced by Erin Kyan. Michael is voiced by Oscar Sabogal. Credits spoken by Roslyn Quin. Recorded by Kermie Breydon and Eris Barnes.

Thank you to the Big Gay Fiction Podcast for supporting this episode.

If you're enjoying Love and Luck, consider backing us on Patreon. We do our best not only to make a high quality show for you, but to pay everyone involved in its creation. Your monthly donation will be directly supporting queer art by queer people. Pledge now at patreon.com/passervulpes - that's patreon.com/ P A S S E R V U L P E S.

For more information about Love and Luck, check out our website, loveandluckpodcast.com. You can also find us on facebook as Love and Luck Podcast, on twitter as @LoveLuckPodcast, and on tumblr and instagram as loveandluckpodcast, all one word.

Episode 52 - We Just Live, After

[Dial tone]

[Pickup]

ROSLYN: You've reached the Love and Luck Podcast.

[Music]

[Beep]

[Pickup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey honey. I hope you're sleeping well.

Things are good downstairs today. There's a family here with this tiny happy baby, and it keeps making noises at everyone it sees. It's sooooo cute. I'm pretty close to offering its parents some free coffee just to get them to stick around a little longer? There's something about happy babies that just... really makes a room feel lighter, you know?

Anyway, I love you. See you when you get up.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey, I keep forgetting to bring this up when we're both awake - can we get new laundry hampers? The ones we're using take up heaps of space and it's starting to get annoying. Ikea trip to Monday sound good?

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Also, I love you.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: We can definitely get new laundry hampers. While we're there I might pick up some other stuff too. I've put it into our calendar so we can't forget. I love you!

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey babe. Quiet night tonight. Haven't had a customer in for a couple of hours, and there's still another one to go before closing time.

Everyone's asleep except for me, which is... nice, actually. Haven't had much alone time lately. Which isn't like... a PROBLEM, or anything. You know me, I love being around people. I basically feed off social energy.

But it's still nice to take a break every now and then.

I've been thinking about our magic. I know we haven't used it a lot since... well, you know. Just soothing, really, nothing else. And I mean, that's fine... it's not like we HAVE to use it or anything.

But... I think we're both a little bit... I don't know. Burnt out? Like... after everything that happened, it's kind of nice to not think about it for a while.

But... I don't know. I don't think it's a good idea to fall into that way of thinking too long, you know? We've got this... power. We can use it to do good, to do better. Which is what we did before, and it's... it's what you wanted to do, and... it's what I want to do, too.

I don't think we should let it go, or... give it up. It's not like there's not still a lot of suffering and struggling out there, you know?

This isn't a movie. We didn't beat the bad guys at the end and live happily ever after. We just... live, after. And there's still a lot left to live through, and... we can make it better. Not just for us, but... for the people around us. For our community.

Anyway. Just something to think about. Love you. See you tomorrow.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: [Resigned] Hey. I know. I agree, even. I know we should pick it back up, we should... keep exploring it, try to get better at it, that sort of thing.

It's just... I don't know. Every time I brush up against it, I start feeling nauseous and panicky. I remember what I did, I remember how I felt, and I just... [Upset] I don't want to do that again. I don't want to have to feel that again.

[Deep Breath]

But, you're right. We should keep using it. We should learn more about it. And I mean... I'm not going to get over these horrific feelings if I just avoid it forever, am I? I need some of that... exposure therapy, or whatever.

[Sigh] The biggest problem with this plan is the same one that we started with ages ago. We don't know what the fuck we're doing and we don't have anyone to teach us.

[FX: Door Opens]

Ah, someone just came in. We'll talk about this later. Love you.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey honey. Bedtime voicemail. I... should really be sleeping right now, but... I'm restless.

I've been putting some thought into the whole "we don't know what the hell we're doing" problem. I did some more googling but... once again, can't find anything like what we can do. I found some books that might contain SOMETHING useful, so I ordered a couple. Hopefully they can shed some light, or at least... point us in a direction? I don't know.

In case they don't... I think maybe we should consider... telling someone. About what we can do. Maybe see if we can find someone who knows how it all works. I mean... for all we know, there's like... some kind of cool queer witch coven that we just haven't figured out how to contact yet, you know?

[Quietly] Damn. I hope there's a cool queer witch coven. That'd be awesome.

Anyway... I just feel like we're starting to approach the limit of what we can figure out on our own, you know? Maybe we should think about being a bit more open about it. At least with SOMEONE. I mean... we can't be the only people in the world who can do this stuff, right? That's just... incredibly unlikely.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey. So... I know we talked about this earlier, but... in light of that last voicemail you left me, I just wanted to remind you of some stuff when you wake up tomorrow.

First of all, exposure therapy only works if you feel safe. If you're still feeling wobbly about magic, then... we gotta take it really, really slow, okay? I don't want you to try and push past your comfort level just because you think you have to, okay? We've got time. We can take this as slowly as we want. We can just keep using what we already know for now, rather than trying to branch out, if that's easier.

I mean... having said that, if learning and experimenting is what makes you feel more able to handle it then... I guess we'll do that.

Basically what I'm saying is that you can set the pace on this, okay?

And... yeah. That means that if you think we should tell someone? We'll tell someone. Because, you're right. We can't be the only people who can do this stuff.

Also, fuck me. I hope there's a cool queer witch coven. I will fucking cover myself in blood and glitter, and roll around on an altar or whatever just to get in on that.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

VICTOR: [Exuberant] Kane!! It's Victor! I got the apartment! Michael and I can move in next week!

Oh, thank you so much for helping me with the application. I'm pretty sure you're the main reason that we got it.

Oh man. I'm so excited! I'm going to live so close to you guys, in a nice little cozy flat with no goddamn lawn to mow... it's going to be so good!

I gotta go, I gotta go sign the lease. I'll see you at work later, okay? Thank you so much!

[Hangup]

[Music]

ROSLYN: Love and Luck is written by Erin Kyan, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions.

Kane is voiced by Lee Davis-Thalbourne. Jason is voiced by Erin Kyan. Victor is voiced by DL Turnbull. Credits spoken by Roslyn Quin. Recorded by Kermie Breydon and Eris Barnes.

Thank you to Patti Glad for supporting this episode.

If you're enjoying Love and Luck, consider backing us on Patreon. We do our best not only to make a high quality show for you, but to pay everyone involved in its creation. Your monthly donation will be directly supporting queer art by queer people. Pledge now at patreon.com/passervulpes - that's patreon.com/ P A S S E R V U L P E S.

For more information about Love and Luck, check out our website, loveandluckpodcast.com. You can also find us on facebook as Love and Luck Podcast, on twitter as @LoveLuckPodcast, and on tumblr and instagram as loveandluckpodcast, all one word.

Episode 51 - Ricardo's Fear

ROSLYN: This episode of Love and Luck contains content including surviving homophobic violence and the experience of post traumatic stress disorder. Please, take care of yourself.

[Dial tone]

[Pickup]

ROSLYN: You've reached the Love and Luck Podcast.

[Music]

[Beep]

[Pickup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey honey. For what it's worth, I think maybe you should talk to Ricardo about your weird anxiety over Michael leaving. If he's worrying about not being welcome here, hearing that you feel sad about the idea of any of our boarders leaving might help a bit in a way that emotional soothing and factual statements can't, you know?

And he is, by the way. Still worrying. We had another chat before he went to bed. So... yeah. I did actually already mention that you were feeling sad about Michael leaving, and I was glad Ricardo would still be around, and he seemed kind of cheered up by that. So yeah. You should talk to him about it too. It might help both of you.

God, I'm tired. Looking forward to crawling into bed with you. G'nite.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

RICARDO: [Unsure] Hi, Jason. It's Ricardo. I... you said I could call you and leave you a message if I needed to talk but no one was around, so... I'm taking you up on that.

It's five in the morning, and the only people up are me and the magpies. And while I've definitely poured my heart out to them before at various points in the last few weeks, I'm never sure if they understand me or not. So... I figured I'd give this a try instead.

I... feel kind of stupid talking into a voicemail, to be honest. But... I know you and Kane do it all the time, so... clearly it's something that can be learned. So I'm willing to give it a try. Especially considering I just...

[Depressed] I don't know, Jason. I feel like I'm made out of wet sand. Like any accidental push or gentle wave would completely disintegrate me. I feel weak.

I don't mean in that in a self loathing way. I mean it literally. I feel like I'll fall to pieces at even the slightest provocation. I've felt this way ever since it happened.

I mean.. you remember how I was in hospital. I couldn't handle the idea of you leaving, because then I'd be completely alone, and I just couldn't deal with that.

[Apologetic] I'm... I'm sorry about that, by the way. I know you stuck around for me, and it couldn't have been easy on you. I just realized that I don't think I've ever explicitly thanked you for that.

[Sincerely] So... thank you. Thank you for being there with me when I had no one else, not even myself.

How long do voicemails last? I'm going to hang up and call back again so this doesn't cut out, okay?

[Hangup]

[Beep]

RICARDO: [Calmly] Me again. Hi.

So... yeah. Thank you for being there for me in hospital. And for being there for me when I got out of hospital. I know I kind of...

[Downhearted] [Sigh] I know I cling to you. I... I'm sorry. I just... I don't know. You were there, and you were kind, and I could tell you cared about me, and... I don't know, Jason. I don't know.

I'm not used to people caring about me. Not like that. Not like this. I'm used to being alone, and struggling through it, but then you were there and I wasn't alone. And I haven't been alone since. And now that I know what that feels like, I just... I don't want to go back to being alone.

I feel safe here. I feel protected here. That's why I'm so scared of overstaying my welcome. I don't... I can't handle the idea that things might go bad and you wouldn't see me again, or that I wouldn't be welcome back here.

[Distressed] I feel so afraid, Jason. All the time! I'm never not afraid anymore! I'm afraid of being alone, I'm afraid of being back in hospital, I'm afraid it will happen again!

Every time I step outside, I remember lying on the doorstep. I remember being dragged there, I remember angry men shouting at me. I remember how much it hurt when they started beating me, and I was begging them to stop until I couldn't speak any more. I remember how loud the ambulance siren was, and how bright the hospital lights were. Doctors shouting at me and nurses manhandling me, and needles and tubes sunk into my body.

I remember you holding my hand.

[Tearful] I remember when you first slept on the floor and I couldn't see you, so I didn't know where you were, and I woke you up because I was crying and looking for you. And then you were there again, still there, telling me I'd be all right and that you weren't going anywhere.

[Crying] I could have died. I nearly died! I didn't want to die alone. I don't want to die alone!

[Hangup]

[Beep]

RICARDO: [Calm...ish] Hey, uh... sorry. Sorry for that last message.

I just... I don't think I've... really let myself think too hard about it all since it happened. Not really. I've been focusing so hard on getting through it and healing physically and trying to run away from it and move on that... I never took the time to just sit with it. To just... sit with what happened.

I think... I think I finally started to really think about it today, when I was talking with Helen and Michael. We all went through it. We all knew what it was like.

It was... good, in a weird kind of way. To feel the hurt together. It made me feel less alone. I think it made us all feel less alone.

I'm sorry. I'm okay. Don't freak out when you get that last message. I'm... fine. Or... something like fine. I think I will be fine. Eventually.

[Relieved] I'm glad I decided to give this voicemail thing a try. Thank you for listening.

Thank you for being here.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey, Ricardo. I'll talk to you when you get up, but, until then, I just wanted to say... I'm really glad that talking it out helped, and that you're feeling a bit better now.

But mostly I just... [EMOTIONAL] I'm really glad you're here, Ricardo.

I really love you, actually? You're like family to me now, and... I hate what brought you here, but... I'm really glad you made it through and that you're here with us.

You're not alone anymore, Ricardo. We're here. I'm here. I'm always here. Even if I'm not physically here, I'm... I'm always here on the other end of the line.

Thank you for trusting me. And... thank you for being here, too.

[Hangup]

[Music]

ROSLYN: Love and Luck is written by Erin Kyan, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions.

Ricardo is voiced by Justin Jones Li. Jason is voiced by Erin Kyan. Credits spoken by Roslyn Quin. Recorded by Kermie Breydon and Eris Barnes.

Thank you to Michelle Nickolaisen for supporting this episode.

If you're enjoying Love and Luck, consider backing us on Patreon. We do our best not only to make a high quality show for you, but to pay everyone involved in its creation. Your monthly donation will be directly supporting queer art by queer people. Pledge now at patreon.com/passervulpes - that's patreon.com/ P A S S E R V U L P E S.

For more information about Love and Luck, check out our website, loveandluckpodcast.com. You can also find us on facebook as Love and Luck Podcast, on twitter as @LoveLuckPodcast, and on tumblr and instagram as loveandluckpodcast, all one word.

Episode 50 - Housing and Healing

[Dial tone]

[Pickup]

ROSLYN: You've reached the Love and Luck Podcast.

[Music]

[Beep]

[Pickup]

[Beep]

VICTOR: [serious] Hey, Kane. So... my sharehouse is breaking up, which sucks, but it's fine. I'm calling because there's a really nice little apartment not far from the Best of Luck Bar that I'm really keen for, and... well, I was wondering if you guys would be willing to give me a hand with the application? I don't really know what I'm doing, and... I could really use some help. Yeah. Uh, Let me know.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey babe. It's just past three, I've closed up for the night, and I've just sent Ricardo back to bed. He was really upset. Apparently he hasn't been sleeping very well. He keeps having nightmares, and when he's awake he's always on edge, and... well, he was worried that he was wearing out his welcome with us.

I told him that's ridiculous. I reminded him that I told him when he came here that he could stay as long as he needed and I stand by that. I'm just... I'm not sure he believes me. And I don't know how to make him believe me.

[Sighs] When you see him tomorrow, could you reassure him that he's still welcome here? Maybe if we just... tell him enough times, maybe it will sink in. I don't know.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: [serious] Hey. I talked to Ricardo this morning, and yeah, I reassured him that he's welcome here, and that he can stay as long as needed. But... yeah, I don't know if he believed me.

Even if he doesn't, though, I think we should keep reminding him every so often. Just so he has some evidence to fight the brain weasels with, you know?

[Sighs] I love you. I hope... I hope he can start to feel a bit safer here. I don't know.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey, just a quick one from me tonight. It's been a busy night. Lots of folks in and out.

We sold like... five of Michael's paintings tonight, though, which is awesome. Bunch of art enthusiasts dropped in on their way to something else. [chuckles] I don't think they even knew that we're a queer bar, actually. I mean, it clearly didn't bother them, but... I don't know, they kind of stood out, you know?

[yawn] Ugh. Okay, that'll do me, I'm knackered. I'm gonna come cuddle up to you now. Hopefully I won't wake you.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey.

[Sighs] It's... hard down here today. Ricardo and Michael and Helen are all huddled together, talking about what happened to them last month. We don't have too many customers right now, so I'm trying to encourage said customers to sit further away from our boarders, so they have a bit of privacy I guess.

I'm trying not to interfere, either. I think they need each other right now, people who went through the same thing. Not well meaning papa bears hovering around them.

[distressed] I can't... I don't know, Jason. Even though I was here for everything that happened, even though I saw it, I saw them, I looked after them... in some ways I just can't grasp it, you know? I don't... I can't know how it was for them. What it was like to be attacked like that, what it was like to be afraid like that... I had the tiniest glimpse of it when that brick hit you, and that nearly crushed me.

I just wish... I wish it had never happened.

[Sighs] I should go. Victor's probably going to be here soon. I'm going to help him out with his rental application. I love you.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey, so, housing update. While Victor and I were filling out his application for this apartment, Michael was chatting with Victor about it. And, well... whether it's this flat or another one, it looks like Michael's going to leave us to move in with Victor.

It's good. It is. Michael wants to live somewhere quieter, and he wants to open up his room here in case we need to take anyone else in who needs it. So... it's good.

I just... I have mixed feelings. I love having Michael here. I love talking with him and seeing him paint and having him be a part of the bar, you know?

I feel like... empty nested, or something. Eileen headed home and now Michael's looking to move out, and... I don't know. I'm probably being silly. Helen's still here, Ricardo's still here, Tom and Brandon are still here. It's not like everyone is leaving all at once.

And anyway... even Victor, and Sarah and Mira, they all come back and hang out with us, so even when people have moved out, it's not like we never see them again.

And I mean, shit. People end up with us because they don't have anywhere else. So if they do have somewhere else, that's a good thing. That's a fucking good thing. I should stop being selfish about it.

[Firmly] Yeah. I'm probably just being silly and selfish. [Sighs] Ignore me. I'm clearly having a weird anxiety reaction. I love you. I'll see you when you get up.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Aw, Papa Bear. It's okay to have mixed feelings about people you love moving out of home. You can be happy for them and sad they're going, that's okay. It's not like... You know, one doesn't cancel out the other one, okay?

I love you. Maybe you can bake a cake and we'll have a little moving out party for Michael before he goes. Something to help smooth the transition, you know?

I love you. I love you and your big, big heart so much.

[Hangup]

[Music]

ROSLYN: Love and Luck is written by Erin Kyan, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions.

Kane is voiced by Lee Davis-Thalbourne. Jason is voiced by Erin Kyan. Victor is voiced by DL Turnbull. Credits spoken by Roslyn Quin. Recorded by Kermie Breydon and Eris Barnes.

Thank you to Eileen Haggerty for supporting this episode.

If you're enjoying Love and Luck, consider backing us on Patreon. We do our best not only to make a high quality show for you, but to pay everyone involved in its creation. Your monthly donation will be directly supporting queer art by queer people. Pledge now at patreon.com/passervulpes - that's patreon.com/ P A S S E R V U L P E S.

For more information about Love and Luck, check out our website, loveandluckpodcast.com. You can also find us on facebook as Love and Luck Podcast, on twitter as @LoveLuckPodcast, and on tumblr and instagram as loveandluckpodcast, all one word.

Episode 49 - Pat's Birthday Cake

[Dial tone]

[Pickup]

ROSLYN: You've reached the Love and Luck Podcast.

[Music]

[Beep]

[Pickup]

[Beep]

EILEEN: [cheerful] Hey guys, it's Eileen. I'm safe and sound back home, and I just wanted to say thank you again for letting me crash with you for a while.

I miss you all a little bit already, but I have to admit, it's nice to sleep in my own bed again.

I'll be back again to see you soon, probably next week. I'm looking forward to learning more about tea from Helen.

[Sincerely] And... thanks, guys. While I wish it was under better circumstances, I'm really glad I met you all.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey Kane. I hope you're sleeping soundly.

I've been popping upstairs to check on you every hour or so, and... you SEEM to be okay, but...

I'm worried about you. I feel like your panic attacks have increased in frequency since... well. You know. Magically forcing a lot of fear and anger into a bunch of bigoted people's brains.

Which... I wish you didn't have to carry that. I know it weighs on you.

Sometimes I see you stop focusing and just... zone out for a bit, and... then when you come back you frown and take a deep breath and it's pretty clear you're wrestling with something... Painful.

I wish I could go back in time and take that bullet for you. I wish I could do more than just soothe you.

I love you, my sweet boyfriend. My gentle and kind boyfriend. I'll do whatever you need me to do to help you carry this weight, okay? Anything you need. If I can do it I will.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey honey. Things are good downstairs this morning. Everyone is cheerful and it's a really nice day outside.

I did end up sleeping pretty well actually. No waking up in a panic, which was nice.

Speaking of which... Jason? Soothing me is no small thing.

I don't think I'd be handling this well-- or, you know, AT ALL-- if you weren't here to soothe me.

Because... you're right. Sometimes I fall into this hole inside me, where I start wondering if it was really acceptable to do what I did. Wondering what those people are doing now, and if they've been permanently hurt by it?

99% of the time? I still don't regret it. It was self defense. I was protecting you, and me, and all of our people.

But that last 1%? That's... hard. That last 1% is when I start questioning if self defense is ever really an acceptable reason. And that's... I don't know, Jason. During that 1% of the time, I don't know.

So... yeah. Soothing me is no small thing. I'm honestly not sure that I'd be able to function without your support right now. Or, even if I could, I'd probably be a huge mess.

Which... I guess I am still a bit of a mess right now, but... trust me, nothing compared to what I'd be without you.

I love you. Thank you for looking after me.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey, can you wake me up early tomorrow? I need to go shopping for something for Pat's birthday. I have no fucking idea what to get them, so, like, please feel free to make suggestions when you rip the blankets off me.

Well... maybe don't make the suggestions RIGHT at that moment. Maybe give me a few minutes to be a person again first, rather than just a manifestation of sleep.

So, yeah: blankets, return to human form, then gift suggestions.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: [brightly] Good morning! I'm very much looking forward to getting to rudely awaken you! By your own request, even! Such a rare pleasure!

It is such a wonderful opportunity, I'm actually going to give you the gift of getting to relive it later! That's right! I'm going to do it right now, while I'm on the phone!

[Door opens]

Into the room we go... aww, look at you! You're so cute! A cute, sleep angel! [louder] Time to wake up, sleepy angel! Wakey wakey! You have birthday shopping to do!

JASON: [groans]

KANE: C'mon handsome! Time to get up and at 'em! Upsey daisy!

JASON: [grumbles louder]

KANE: No time for grumbling! C'mon! Let me help you with that blanket...

JASON: [whines loudly]

KANE: [laughs] C'mon sleep monster. Time to return to human form. You've gotta go shopping. Are you ready for suggestions yet?

JASON: [groans sleepily]

KANE: Well, you better get ready! C'mon! Get lively! Get excited!!

JASON: [grumpy and sleepy] Why are you like this?

KANE: Because you asked me to be! Also because I love you! Also because Pat deserves a nice birthday present! Are you ready for those suggestions yet?

JASON: [whiny grumble]

KANE: [laughs] I'm going to take that as a yes.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

[SFX: SHOPPING CENTRE AMBIENCE]

JASON: Oh my god, why did I think Chadstone was a good idea, Kane? I've been here for an hour and I want to DIE.

Ugh. Anyway. I was actually calling to ask you something before I forget. Can you write down a cake recipe for me? I know you offered to make Pat's birthday cake yourself, and I appreciate that, but I also kind of want to try and do it myself.

Mostly to prove I can, because Pat sent me a VERY snarky text about my cooking skills, and I need to defend my honour and prove them wrong.

I mean, I definitely have garbage cooking skills, but I figure if YOU write me the instructions, then maybe I can successfully make something edible. And it's not cheating, because it's just using a recipe!

Wait, that IS not cheating, right? No, of course it's not cheating, that'd be ridiculous. It'd only be cheating if you helped me do the actual baking.

ANYWAY. Please write me a cake recipe. Maybe that carrot cake you made last month? Pat really liked that one.

Ugh, okay, I should get back to shopping. Why did I do this to myself? Next year, remind me to just shop online a month beforehand like a normal person!

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: [amused] Cake recipe written down and waiting for you on the fridge in the kitchen for whenever you get to it.

I have to say, I'm pretty excited to find out what a Jason-made cake is like, considering I don't think you've made a cake in like... the entire time I've known you.

I hope Chadstone isn't wearing you down too much. See you when you get home.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: [sighs] Well, it's nearly five in the morning, but the cake is done!! I did everything JUST like your recipe said, and it LOOKS great, so I'm pretty sure it's going to taste great too. So Pat can suck it!

Love you! See you in a few hours!!

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Morning honey, just wanted to say congratulations on your cake, it does indeed look great. I'm sure Pat will love it.

All's good downstairs this morning. I'll see you when you get up.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: LISTEN. I love you, but I have to speak in my defence!

I JUST checked our pantry, and YOU stored the salt and the sugar in the EXACT SAME TYPE OF CONTAINER, and the labels are SO WORN DOWN that I didn't even SEE THEM.

So I am NOT fully to blame for what happened to that cake. YOU SHARE EQUAL BLAME IN THIS. The dry retching of many birthday party guests rests on BOTH our shoulders!!!

[Hangup]

[Music]

ROSLYN: Love and Luck is written by Erin Kyan, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions.

Kane is voiced by Lee Davis-Thalbourne. Jason is voiced by Erin Kyan. Eileen is voiced by Abigail Michell. Credits spoken by Roslyn Quin. Recorded by Kermie Breydon and Eris Barnes.

Thank you to Tina Dearing for supporting this episode.

If you're enjoying Love and Luck, consider backing us on Patreon. We do our best not only to make a high quality show for you, but to pay everyone involved in its creation. Your monthly donation will be directly supporting queer art by queer people. Pledge now at patreon.com/passervulpes - that's patreon.com/ P A S S E R V U L P E S.

For more information about Love and Luck, check out our website, loveandluckpodcast.com. You can also find us on facebook as Love and Luck Podcast, on twitter as @LoveLuckPodcast, and on tumblr and instagram as loveandluckpodcast, all one word.

Episode 48 - Justice

[Dial tone]

[Pickup]

ROSLYN: You've reached the Love and Luck Podcast.

[Music]

[Beep]

[Pickup]

[Beep]

VICTOR: [Frantic] Jesus Christ, Kane, please call me back. It's been over an hour now since you left your last message to me, and we're all really freaking out. Please let us know that you're okay.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: [Tired] Hey, Victor, it's me, Jason. We're... we're okay. Or... something like okay, anyway. We're headed back to the Best of Luck now.

We found the people who have been hurting us. They made us real quick, pelted a brick at me. It hit me, but it didn't do any real damage. But when Kane saw that, he... well, he lost his shit. He... well. It doesn't matter what he did. [Tired laugh] I've never seen anyone has terrified as those homophobes were, though. They literally pissed themselves. Literally! Pissed themselves! Then they dropped everything they were carrying, turned tail and ran away like frightened children.

I'm going to have a real fucker of a bruise, and Kane... he passed out for a couple of minutes from the exertion, but he woke up again and doesn't seem any worse for wear other than being exhausted, so... we're okay, and we're coming home. See you soon.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

VICTOR: Jesus christ, I take a five minute shower after spilling shit on myself and of course that's the time when you call. Kind of wish you were answering your phone right now but... if you're on your way home, then, I'll be happy enough with that for now.

I'm glad you're... well, mostly okay, from the sounds of it. But... I'm actually not surprised to hear that about Kane. Papa Bear's a gentle soul, but I've always gotten the impression he's a gentle soul in that way a guard dog is a gentle soul - real sweet and soft until you threaten the kids, and then you may as well have signed your own death certificate.

[Sighs] Well, everything's ready for you when you get home. Helen's already put the kettle on, and I've been hovering over this first aid kit pretty much since you left. See you soon.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey babe... I've just tucked you into bed... and normally I wouldn't leave you a voicemail while you're sleeping next to me, but honestly, you look like you're out for the count, and I wanted to leave you a message while no one else could overhear it.

I'll need to head back out soon and... come up with something to tell the others, I guess. Not quite sure how to turn a magical event into a mundane one. Maybe I'll say you yelled at them or threatened them or something... I don't know. Just make non committal noises when you get up if they ask you about it before I have time to tell you what I told them, I guess.

I really hope sleep makes you feel better... that was one of the scariest moments of my life when you passed out. I know... or well, I know that we agreed that it's probably just exhaustion... I mean, we normally feel tired when we use magic, and you used like... a metric buttload of magic all at once, so it's not surprising, I guess. But Jesus Christ, it was scary.

[Sighs] God, I'm starving. I think I'm going to go eat, like, half the food in our kitchen. Then I'll probably come back here and fall asleep myself for a while.

I love you. We did a good thing tonight. See you tomorrow.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: [Exhausted] God, I feel hungover as hell. I'm glad you're still asleep. Last night was... Christ, I'm tired again even just remembering it.

I'm sorry for scaring you. I... probably should have tried to control my energy expenditure a little better. But when I saw that brick hit you I just... I couldn't handle it. I already wanted them to stop, I was already angry at them for everything they've done. But when I saw it aimed at you... it was like I stopped thinking clearly. Or... no. I was still thinking clearly. But I wasn't thinking in logical, linear steps any more. I was thinking purely in emotion, devoid of consequences.

And then... then I took that emotion, and I threw it at them. I wasn't even trying to, really, it just... I don't know how I did it. But I took all the anger and fear they made me feel and just... forced it back into their heads so it wasn't in mine any more. Like... you know how when we soothe each other, we sort of flow that into each other? It was like that, but more... more violent.

[Upset] God... I don't ever want to do that again. I don't ever want to feel that again. I don't ever want to be responsible for that again. I don't even... I can't even think about it without wanting to burst into tears. [Intake of breath]

I should... I should go eat something. Yeah. That'll help, right? Yeah.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: I should clarify... I don't regret it. If I had to do it again, I would. You're right. We did a good thing. We stopped them. We ended it. I know... I don't know how I know, but I know... they won't hurt anyone else ever again.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

JASON: Hey. I love you.

[Hangup]

[Beep]

KANE: Hey. I love you too.

[Hangup]

[SFX: News Music]

ANNOUNCER: Hello, I'm Oliver Smith with the four o'clock news. A group of people allegedly responsible for gay hate crimes around the suburbs of St Kilda and Prahran have published a sorrowful apology on youtube, today. The group confessed to a wide variety and number of crimes, including vandalism, hate speech, and assault.

The apology included an emphatic promise not only to never offend again, but to dedicate their time and money towards reparations for the LGBTIQA+ community, beginning with donations to several relevant community groups. The organizations named in the video have confirmed to us that they did, in fact, receive sizeable donations anonymously in the past twenty four hours.

The reason for their confession and apology is not clear, and the group have declined to respond to any press enquiries. As the video and its sources are anonymous, no one has been arrested at this time.

[Fading out] Victoria Police have asked if anyone has been a victim of these people, or suspect that they might have been, to please contact their nearest police department to discuss--

[Beep]

[Music: Soothing Music]

HELEN: Hey guys, this is Helen, um... I'm speaking on behalf of a whole bunch of us who live, work or play here at the Best of Luck Bar. We obviously have told you both this a lot in person, but, we also know that you both have a weird affection for voicemails, so I'm making sure that this is receivable in your favourite medium, at the front bar.

we, We all owe you so much. We all love you so much. You've taken care of us, you've loved us, and you've protected us. You've welcomed us into your home and lives and you've nurtured us with a love and gentleness some of us haven't felt in our whole adult lives. And now, with the resolution of these hate crimes, you've made us feel more safe and supported than we ever have.

Most of us... we never thought anyone would stand up for us. We never thought anyone would care about us. We were all just trying to survive, and never thought we'd have a chance at trying to thrive. But you've given us a solid foundation that makes us feel safe.

Not only have you protected us, but you've made us feel that we're worth protecting. You've made us feel valuable. You've made us feel like we matter.

And we do matter. We always have, but we just... didn't know it, before. You made us realize it.

We just want you to know... that you both matter too. That you're both so important to us and to our community, and that we love you so much, and that you mean so much to us. We want you to know that we have your back whenever you need us, just like you've been there for us.

We just want to say, once again... thank you. We love you, Kane and Jason of the Best of Luck Bar. Our wonderful friends and guardians. Thank you for everything.

[Hangup]

[Music]

Love and Luck is written by Erin Kyan, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions. Kane is voiced by Lee Davis-Thalbourne. Jason is voiced by Erin Kyan. Victor is voiced by Darby Turnbull. Helen is voiced by Yuki Izumi. News Anchor voiced by Ben Harberts. Additional sound effects supplied by Kyle Evans. Credits spoken by Roslyn Quin. Recorded by Kermie Breydon.

We would also like to thank Mary Borsellino, whose support and editing insights helped shape Love and Luck's story all the way back at the beginning, and Jessie Ngaio, whose advice and support during this project has been invaluable.

Love and Luck was recorded at the Kathleen Syme Library and Community Centre, in Carlton, Melbourne.

We would like to acknowledge that Love and Luck was made on the stolen land of the Kulin Nation. It was written and is set on the land of the Boonwurrung People, and was recorded on the land of the Wurundjeri People. We pay our respects to Elders past and present, and extend that respect to all Indigenous people who are listening. Sovereignty was never ceded. Australia always was, and always will be Aboriginal land.

With this episode, we come to the end of season one of Love and Luck. We hope you've enjoyed it!

For more information about Love and Luck, check out our website, loveandluckpodcast.com. You can also find us on facebook as Love and Luck Podcast, and follow us on twitter, at @LoveLuckPodcast.