Episode 15 - Isn't It Worth Trying?

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ROSLYN: You've reached the Love and Luck Podcast.

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JASON: So, hi! I have been pretty damn effective today. I asked Pat some stuff about what they're looking for and they confessed to me that there's this guy they've been mooning over for like two years, but he's been unavailable for most of those years and he's only recently single again, and they feel like it's too soon for them to make a move, right?

Sooo... I figured hey, that's already pretty lucky, right? It wouldn't take much to just push that luck a little bit further.

So they've been texting with this guy for like an hour now, and every time their phone goes off they get this stupid blushy grin on their face. Apparently this guy just happened to make a move first, so now they don't have to worry about the whole ‘is it too soon after his breakup' thing.

So, ya know. I'm a great superhero.

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KANE: [Amused] I love that your idea of "let's use our powers for good" translates into getting your friend a boyfriend.

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JASON: Well, when it comes to using our powers for good, what would you do? Or more, what will you do, I suppose is the question. It's not like you're any less brimming with potential than I am.

Not that you have to do anything, mind you. Possessing magic powers doesn't obligate you to use them. But doing good seems to matter to you, so I guess I'm curious what sorts of things are covered by that for you. For me it's as simple as helping people out if I can, even if it's just with little stuff like getting them a boyfriend.

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KANE: You know... that's a really good question.

I guess... I agree with you, actually. Helping people is kind of the first step in doing any good. So I guess I owe you an apology, because as much as it's fun to tease you about matchmaking, it's not like that didn't actually help someone. You said Pat's been smiling about it... making someone genuinely smile is a surprisingly difficult thing to do these days, especially when they're going through a rough time like Pat is. It's not really as small of a thing as I've teased you about it being. So... sorry about that.

I guess... I don't know. I want the world to be better. Everything feels kind of fucked up all the time right now, especially for minorities. I want people to be safe and happy. I don't want people to be afraid or unstable or lost, you know? I want to protect them, or help them heal, or ease their distress. I don't... I don't know if I can actually do that, but... that's what I want. I want to ease a little bit of the pain and dysfunction in the world.

That's... that's a lot of what I think about when we talk about the potential for the bar, really. Being able to have a space that can help that along. Somewhere to start.

Is that... is it all too idealistic? Is it even something I should be able to do, even if I can theoretically do it? I mean... every story I've ever heard about people meddling with magical shit hasn't exactly had a happy ending. Is it ethical to fuck around with this stuff, just to try and bring the world a little closer to what I think it should be? Because that sounds... like it could lead somewhere bad, you know?

I don't know. Maybe this is all a terrible idea. Maybe I shouldn't even be thinking about it.

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JASON: Wow, babe, okay, first things first: see if you can relax a little. That last message was a spiral from curiosity to despair in what, like, a minute?

Second... the world is a terrible enough place as it is. If we fuck things up a bit while trying to help... would it really be that much worse than all the other shit that happens every day?

All that you want to do... you know, why don't you think about it from the mundane angle? Isn't it a good thing to do mundane, non magical things to try and make the world better? To try and ease people's suffering?

And if it's a good thing to try to do good things non magically - which it is, obviously - then why wouldn't it be a good thing to try and do good things magically, too?

We can do good things, Kane. We can do them together, too - we don't have to go through this alone. We can look after each other and watch over each other while we try to make a difference. And soon we'll have a little bar we can use as our base headquarters, somewhere we can gather all our goodwill and try to make great things happen.

If you want to make the world a better place, then let's do it. I'm beside you the whole way.

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KANE: You're right. The world is hard enough. There's no reason not to try and make it softer.

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KANE: Hey, I'm going to crash at my place tonight, okay? I'll see you tomorrow for the lease signing. I'm so excited!!

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JASON: Ugh, you mean I'm going to have to go another night without you? That sucks. I mean, I'll deal, but I'm definitely going to be a little bit grumpy about it.

It's kind of weird how even a day makes a difference these days. I mean... a bit over a year ago, I didn't even know who you were. These days I feel kind of bummed if I'm without you for a night, and I used to spend my whole life without you? That's so weird.

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KANE: I know what you mean... it sometimes feels like we've been together forever. It's so strange knowing that it's been hardly any time at all in the grand scheme of things.

And, well, if it helps, you only have a few more nights to spend without me. Then we get to spend every night together from then on onwards.

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JASON: A few more nights... it does help, to have that put in perspective. Soon we'll live together. I hate waiting for it, but I will.

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JASON: You know, it's weird actually, that I can't wait to live with you and I'm so excited about this? I mean, not weird in the general sense, just weird in the specific-to-me sense.

I mean... I've always been so flighty, you know? The idea of a real relationship instead of just a series of hookups punctuated by awkwardness and limbo was completely alien to me before you, really. Every time I tried to do the relationship thing, it always just fell to pieces. Not because anyone did anything wrong, or anything. It was just that nothing... stuck. I couldn't calm down, I couldn't sit still, I couldn't focus, I couldn't commit. So it just became a part of me. I just owned the whole flaky gay dude stereotype.

But you... I don't feel flighty about you, not even a little bit. I'm really looking forward to living with you. I love seeing you, I love being around you, I love getting your voicemails and grinning like an idiot while I listen to them.

I feel like I could never get sick of you. I mean... we'll get to test that theory in the coming years, I suppose, but right now... I can't even imagine what that would feel like.

Normally the whole idea of moving in with someone and being all serious about the relationship would freak me out... and I mean, it's not like it hasn't, as I'm sure you remember my painfully embarrassing voicemails.

But I was scared about the idea of this. Now that the reality is here... I'm not scared at all. [Quietly] I'm not scared at all.

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KANE: [Choked up] Hey... you made me cry a bit. In a good way.

I love you.

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JASON: [Lovingly] Hey... I'm sorry I made you cry. Even if it was good crying.

I love you too. I'll see you tomorrow.

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ROSLYN: Love and Luck is written by Erin Kyan, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions. Kane is voiced by Lee Davis-Thalbourne. Jason is voiced by Erin Kyan. Credits spoken by Roslyn Quin. Recorded by Kermie Breydon.

For more information about Love and Luck, check out our website, loveandluckpodcast.com. You can also find us on facebook as Love and Luck Podcast, and follow us on twitter, at @LoveLuckPodcast.